“What time should I return?” Gordon, as always, was dressed in his suit. He waited for my response, though I wasn’t sure whatto tell him. I wanted to feel up to this, but I just didn’t. Usually, I was there closing down the party, but this year, I had a feeling I’d want to leave early.
“Is it okay if I just shoot you a text when I’m ready? I know it will take a while for you to get here.” I checked the time. It was very early, only five p.m.
“Yes, sir. I’ll be on standby.” Gordon nodded at me, rounded the vehicle, and climbed in. He was backing out before I was even moving toward the house.
A very pregnant Becky welcomed me in the front door, hand resting on her stomach in true pregnant woman style. She glowed with an energy I had never seen. Pregnancy looked good on her. She led me through the house to the back where Adam and a few men stood around the grill, smoke rising in steady puffs of air toward the sky. It was a beautiful day for a cookout, and it didn’t match my mood at all.
“Oh, guys. You remember Parker.” Adam gestured, beer in hand, at me. His friends offered similar gestures of greeting. One of them I recognized as a financial planner Adam had tried to get me to work with. That hadn’t gone as expected. The man quickly found an exit to the conversation and a few others left with him, making their way to a group of ladies out on the patio.
“What’s for dinner?” I asked, glancing at the slabs of raw meat on the grill, just starting to cook. I wasn’t actually interested in what he was cooking. I just figured I’d start the small talk to get it out of the way before Adam dived into my obvious frustration. I knew I had no poker face to hide what I was feeling.
He handed me a beer from the cooler next to the grill and the last two men remaining on the deck left when he asked them, “Hey, guys, give us a sec?” He waited until they were gone, then handed me his bottle opener, which was attached to the end of the grill utensil. “Spill it.”
I glowered at him as I opened the beer, catching the cap and sliding it in my pocket. I took a long, hard swig of the icy beverage before even looking him in the eye. He took his grill utensil back and pushed the meat around the grill for a second. I knew he was going to get me to talk and I was glad he’d asked his friends to walk away.
“I fucked up, Adam.” Staring at my feet to avoid looking at him, I felt my heart sinking further inside my chest. Admitting it aloud was the hardest thing to do. It was entirely my fault. I didn’t own Haley, and she had every right to make difficult decisions without my knowing anything about them. We hadn’t defined our relationship yet. She was free to do as she pleased. So why did her wanting a job out of state affect me more than if she had chosen to go on a date with another man?
“The girl?” he asked, flipping what looked like a pork chop. The bottom side was so charred anyone would have a hard time eating it, but that was the way he liked his meat—well done.
“Yeah.” I stared at that meat with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I had to give her space. She hadn’t called or even texted. She hadn’t even sent the email reminder of the meeting we were supposed to have with our source for this week. It was like she vanished from the face of the earth.
When Adam stopped flipping meat and set his utensil down, I finally looked up at him and met his gaze. He shook his head and sipped his beer, prompting me to have a drink of mine. He lowered his, but mine stayed glued to my lips, held high as I finished it entirely.
“What the hell are you doing here?” His question took me by surprise. I was here because this party was the event of the year for him and his wife. I never missed it.
“Uh…” I offered a confused expression and handed him my empty bottle.
“Parker, you dumbass. This girl has made you happier in the past two months than the entire ten years I’ve known you. You don’t throw something like that away. What the heck happened that you screwed this up?” In the beginning, he had chided me for being too gracious, for dating someone so young. He even warned me that it would go sideways and I’d be sorry. Now he was telling me I was wrong?
“I thought you said she was too young for me? That it would end badly.”
“Alright, well tell me what you did wrong, then.” His smug scowl told me he already knew something, or that he'd deduced it somehow.
“It’s nothing.” I snatched the empty bottle out of his hand and tossed it in the trash, then grabbed a new one out of the cooler and opened it the old-fashioned way, by beating it on the deck railing at just the right angle. The cap flipped up in the air and I caught it.
“You messed it up, so how did you do it?”
“She applied at theGlobal Gazetteand they interviewed her. She wants to move to LA and?—”
“And you’re literally a billionaire. You can’t just fly there every weekend to be with her? Man, you’re killing me. She’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you’re going to throw it away?”
“It’s more than that,” I snapped. Realizing he was pushing buttons, I took a step back and another swig of beer.
“What, then? You’re afraid of something?” Adam got in my face, and I couldn’t look away. “Go to her now, Parker. Fix it. Stop being a prideful jerk. You were so happy the past two months. It was like seeing you as a kid again, happy and carefree instead of angry and brooding. Don’t mess this up, man.”
I glared at him for a second knowing he was right. I was completely in love with her and I had been an idiot. I thrustmy beer into his hand and had Gordon on speed dial before I even got through the house. I didn’t even stop to say goodbye to Becky who was busy in the kitchen cooking something with a few ladies. Adam knew me better than anyone else in my life, and I’d be stupid not to follow his advice.
When Gordon pulled up, I climbed in and ordered him to drive to Haley’s immediately. Chances were she was out somewhere at a cookout with friends or family, but I didn’t care. I’d sit by her door and wait until she was home. And that’s exactly what I did. Gordon parked out front, and I went in, breezing right through the empty lobby where the doorman should have been standing, and rode the elevator up. I knocked once and waited, but Haley didn’t open the door, so instead of angering her neighbor again, I sat down, took my phone out of my pocket, and leaned against the door. I scrolled until I was too tired to stare at my phone anymore, and then I rested my head against the wall and shut my eyes.
I fell asleep and dreamed of her, standing in the pouring rain by her car, crying. She was angry at me and hurt. I stood just out of reach of her, though I wanted to pull her into my arms. In my dream I knew it was over, and there was nothing I could do about it.
29
HALEY
After learning from the insurance adjuster Saturday afternoon that my car would have to have a complete paint job, I was angry and discouraged. To top it off, my phone died midday Saturday and I hadn’t thought to bring my charger. I wanted to go to the store and buy one, but Dad encouraged me that due to the situation I was in, I needed a few days out of contact. It had been the best advice ever. I used Dad’s phone to let Rachel know I was okay, and she came out for Dad’s cookout today.
Now I was exhausted. The insurance company gave me a rental to drive while they fixed mine, and I parked it in the garage in my spot. The trek up to my apartment felt like I was climbing Mount Everest. We’d played volleyball and horseshoes at Dad’s and day drinking had worn me out, despite being fully sober when I left to come home.
