Funny how I’ve overheard so many inane rumors about the dumbest shit, but not once did anyone bother to tell me that my husband had become a one-man welcoming committee forcollege co-eds. The fact that Pastor Greg eats fast food before he goes home because he loves his wife too much to tell her that her cooking sucks, sure. Why not? But something as monumental as me throwing my life away trying to salvage something that may never have existed, nope, that they kept under wraps.
Dolores starts to squirm in her seat, and I can tell there’s something she wants to tell me, but also doesn’t want to tell me. With most eighty-two-year-olds, I would assume it’s arthritis or something, but she is one of the most active people I know. The only thing that holds her back is that her eyesight isn’t what it used to be. That doesn’t stop her from seeing more than anyone else does, though.
She reaches across the table with a hand that is weathered, but still has so much strength, and takes my hand. There’s steel hidden under that paper-thin skin. She opens her mouth, and then my phone rings.
“Go on, dearie. That’s probably that hunk of yours,” she says and winks. I can tell she’s trying to hide her worry with humor.
She’s right, though; it is Griffin. I answer without thinking about where I am, and wince as soon as the words, “Hey, Daddy,” are out of my mouth.
Dolores laughs and waves me off. It makes me wonder what her husband was like. He must have been something to have won a pistol like her.
“Hey, Baby Bird,” Griffin’s voice rumbles on the other end of the phone. Maybe it’s my hormones creating a sense of paranoia, but there’s a weariness to his voice that wasn’t there this morning.
I wait patiently for him to tell me why he’s calling. I know there’s a reason because if he just wanted to hear my voice, he would have come back no matter what errand he was running. My husband isn’t a very talkative man. I didn’t really understand him the entire time I dated and was married to his son. He wascold, stand-offish, and he said more with a grunt or growl than he ever did with words to me.
It wasn’t until I was drowning in him that I realized how deep he is. I can spend eternity sinking deeper with him and still find new things to discover. However, I am far enough below the surface now to know that there are different kinds of pauses when he speaks. This one is apprehensive.
He sighs, probably realizing he is actually going to have to give voice to the words he doesn’t want to say. “I overheard some things while I was in the pharmacy.”
“I hope you aren’t waiting for me to guess, because I heard a lot of things when we were there last week. I’m guessing this is about us, though, otherwise, you wouldn’t care. What did Liam do?”
Because, of course, it’s him. No one else has the ability to cut the two of us as painfully. The love I once had for Liam is gone, but the kind of hurt he inflicted has a longer shelf life.
Griffin grunts, which I’ve learned says a lot more than most people say with entire monologues. “Audrey dropped the baby off with him while he was blacked out from binge drinking. I found him lying in his own puke and piss while the baby had screamed herself hoarse.”
I blow out a breath. Alarms are going off in my head. “So, where are you right now?”
“The hospital. I didn’t know how long the baby had been there, sitting in a dirty diaper, screaming, with no one coming to take care of her. She could be dehydrated or have a serious diaper rash.”
There’s a long pause, and I am afraid of how much everything is going to change when he talks again. Taking the baby to the hospital was absolutely the right thing to do, but it also means there’s a record of her abandonment and Liam’s inability to take care of her. Audrey’s family isn’t exactly stable, which leaves onlytwo options to take care of little Natalie. Either we take her, or she’ll go into the care of the state.
I don’t know how to tell my husband that I can’t help him take care of his granddaughter because she’s a reminder that his son cheated on me. And, what kind of person does it make me that I’d let an infant go into the care of the state just so I don’t have to face that pain?
“What is going to happen now? Even if they would let Liam care for her, there’s no way he should be in charge of another human being.”
He clears his throat. “About that, I was approached by a social worker after Natalie was examined by the doctor. They said that the goal is to keep families together, and that in these instances they prefer to place a child with a blood relative if possible.”
That fear that has been bubbling up cements and sinks to the bottom of my stomach. This is an impossible position, and I’m not sure if there is a way to escape getting hurt.
“Wren, say something,” he demands.
Inhaling deeply, I pause, trying to wrangle my thoughts together. When I can’t figure out the way to move forward from here, I tell him as much. “I’m not sure what to say, Griff.”
“Tell me you’ll help me take care of the baby,” he begs.
“I can’t do that,” I say.
A few tears slip free and run down my face. I have to swallow around a lump in my throat. I strain to keep my voice level, but my throat hurts with the effort. I’m not used to holding back my feelings from Griffin, at least not anymore.
Back when he was my father-in-law, I hid a lot of my feelings from him. Although I did let annoyance slip through freely. That all ended when he dropped the wall he built between us and let me see the real him. I never thought I would retreat behind mine, but right now, protecting myself feels vital.
“What are you saying, Baby Bird?”
I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the sob that is fighting its way out. “I’m not sure,” I whisper.
I slowly blow out a stream of air. “I need to go, and you need to focus on the baby.”
“Wren—”
