The truth is, I know fuck all about the mother of my only grandchild. I know she betrayed Wren, and she’s a shitty mom. That’s about it. “Fuck man, she could have been hatched for all I know about her.”
Charlie snorts. “So she’s from the bitch hatchery. Get it?”
I groan. “Now is not the time for your poor attempt at dad jokes, dude. I need help with Wren.”
“Maybe the best thing that can happen to Natalie is for CPS to take her. Shit, the kid has a deadbeat for a mom and a drunk for a dad. Are you really going to try and saddle Wren withcaring for her ex-husband’s baby while she’s becoming a mother for the first time?”
All good points. For once, I feel more lost talking to Charlie than being alone with my own thoughts. There aren’t any words to really say all of the things going through my head, so I grunt instead. I’m fully aware this habit of mine makes me sound like a caveman, but I really don’t give two shits what others think about me. At least not in this town.
“I don’t envy you. If you’re sure you don’t need me to come to the hospital, I need to get back inside and help Julio.”
We go through the usual goodbyes, and I hang up, wondering what the fuck I’m supposed to do. I don’t have to wonder long, though. A light tap on my shoulder makes me turn around. How I managed to forget that Wren’s aunt is a nurse and works in this hospital is a testament to how preoccupied I am with this cluster fuck I’m finding myself in.
“I know you didn’t ask me, but trust me, I give much better advice than Charlie. He might tell you to push Wren away for her own good,” Hattie says. I’m not sure why I think I’m picking up a bit of sadness or bitterness from her, but that is a mystery to solve some other time.
Come to think of it, when Charlie first figured out that I was seeing Wren, that is exactly what he encouraged me to do. After he saw how miserable I was when she did leave me, he snapped out of it and encouraged me to go and get my woman. I will never make the mistake of letting her go again.
“Okay, what is your advice?” I’m still walking on eggshells with Hattie. After all, I did show up at her house, whisked away her niece, and told her that she was pregnant with my child. It wasn’t my finest moment, so I’d really like for her not to think I’m just going to ruin Wren’s life.
“My niece is tough. I know you’re privy to some of her more vulnerable moments, but she came through those, mostly alone,too. As long as you stand with her, she can handle this. At the very least, you owe her a conversation.”
I nod my head. Holding up my phone, I tip it her way. “I think I have a call I need to make.”
“I’ll be here until midnight if either of you needs me. The front desk can page me. I’ll come find you if we aren’t too busy,” she promises and walks away.
I pause while I’m pulling up Wren’s number from my Favorites. This is going to suck. No matter how I spin it, this is just going to fucking drain us. Once again, my son is managing to wedge his way between us.
Chapter Three
Wren - Past
I fidget in my seat.No matter which way I adjust myself, some part of my body feels cramped, smashed, or pinched. If that weren’t enough, our little girl is a future soccer phenom if she kicks a ball the way she kicks my ribs.
When I first saw my positive pregnancy test, I was so freaked out because in only nine months, my entire life would change. There was so much to do, and my life was a clusterfuck of epic proportions. I had no home, no job, and I was alone. Worse, I was having my father-in-law’s baby. Shit, in a matter of months, I went from being a mediocre wife to the guest star on one of those daytime shock-bait talk shows my mom used to watch.
Life did come at me fast, but it’s not as bleak as it seemed that day I sat on the beach near my aunt’s old condo in Florida. I won’t say it was my lowest point, because as scared as I was, I also had the one thing I’d missed more than anything, a family.My aunt Hattie moved to Florida when I was about nine years old, but we still saw her a few times a year. That stopped after my parents died. She came and stayed with me for a while, but she was gone as soon as I was legally an adult. I don’t know why she cut me out the way she did, but I knew no matter what, I’d have one person to love and be loved by.
Thankfully, the dark clouds passed and both literally and metaphorically. Griffin showed up for me in all the ways I needed him to, and every day I spend with him, I am happier than the day before. I’d say the past is behind me, but that’s the only downside to being with Griffin. As long as I’m with him, Liam will always be in my life.
I didn’t fully appreciate what that meant when Griffin stormed into my life and forever changed it. Because of him, I am loved more completely than I ever knew was possible. With him, I have family, one I know will just keep growing. He brings passion into my life. It’s like I was living my life in black and white, and Griffin dragged me into a world of technicolor.
I don’t know how I ever thought he was an unfeeling asshole when the opposite is true. Griffin feels so much sometimes that his walls protect him from the pain of loving someone else with every fiber of his soul.
He and I are the same in that way. When we give, it’s with everything we have, and when the recipient only takes, we are left a shell of the person we once were. That’s how we came together, two empty people trying to give, even though the bucket was empty. Yet, somehow, he found a little bit more when I had absolutely nothing left.
He’s it for me. I know that if I ever walked away from the life I’m building with him, it would always be a little bit duller than if I stayed. No love will ever be this big again.
So, why would I ever even think about leaving?
I don’t really, but sometimes a painful memory is shoved back in my face, and for a fraction of a second, I think about running away from the pain. Doing that would cost me a life with Griffin, because the reminder will always be attached to him. As long as I have Griffin, I have to put up with Liam.
I try to ignore that fact. Most of the time, it’s not that hard. Just like during our marriage, Liam is damn good at disappearing. I know better than anyone how bad it can be. I keep those memories locked up deep. It isn’t just myself I’m protecting, because I don’t think Griffin could handle the unvarnished version of his son that I’ve been witness to either. Especially since knowing won’t change a damn thing. As long as Liam wants to live his life deep inside a bottle, that is what he’s going to do.
Nothing I ever did was enough to wake him up. No matter how hard I loved, how much I gave, or how much I gave up, Liam still turned to his true love, whiskey.
Come to think of it, he cheated on that relationship, too. There was always beer, vodka, and once, a bottle of mouthwash, so he couldn’t even be faithful to a vice. I suppose it isn’t whiskey specifically, but all alcohol that he’s enamored with. It’s easier to accept that than to realize that I spent five years married to a man who was just as easily swayed by any other woman.
I’m not going to kid myself anymore. I could lie and think that his affair with my ex-best friend, Audrey, was out of some unfortunate connection that formed due to proximity. It wouldn’t make it better, but maybe I would understand. Since learning of his affair and the child that is out there somewhere, I’ve found out that he frequently hooked up with women he met while out drinking.
