This time, I get the sense that he’s been genuine. He didn’t fight for Wren, but he will fight for Claudia. That, in a nutshell, is what is plaguing my Baby Bird.
I’m happy that I’m starting to understand. I know she doesn’t want him. She doesn’t even want him to want her. What she wants is to understand why he fought so hard to shackle her to the wrong future and then spent the years they were together punishing her.
This problem didn’t start with Wren, but with Melinda. I think maybe it’s time to find my ex-wife and help my son get some answers. Before he can tell Wren why he did the things he did, I think he needs to understand them himself.
Either way, this will be the last time that I interfere in my son’s life.
Wren is dancingin the kitchen while she empties the dishwasher. Her hips sway back and forth, and I can’t stop thinking about how she said we should have dirtier sex. I know that she was saying that to shock Liam, but I’d be lying if I said that it hadn’t wormed its way into my head.
I enjoy the view of her being so carefree for a few more minutes. I haven’t seen this from her for a few months, and I’m glad our therapy sessions are starting to bring it back. Unfortunately, what I need to talk to her about might bring that dark cloud back to hovering over her head.
She jumps when she turns around and sees me lurking in the doorway. Her hand covers her heart. “You scared me!”
“I was just enjoying the view,” I tease her.
“Perv,” she says with a smile.
“Like that was ever a question, besides, you love it.”
“Yes, Daddy, I do,” she says and kisses me on the cheek.
Grabbing her hand, I squeeze and pull her toward the table. “I’ve been thinking about something, and I thought before I do anything, I’d try talking to you about it first.”
“Novel idea, what made you think to do that?” she asks. She hasn’t pulled her hand away, so I know she’s listening to me.
It isn’t that I never consult her, but I do tend to act when I think I’m protecting my family. I might be an old dog, but I’m learning new tricks. Not sure how I didn’t pick this one up ages ago. It’s quite easy. When I think I’m going to be the hero and save the day, I just run it past my wife first. I’m not saying that I’m incapable or stupid, but I am finally acknowledging that I don’t know everything.
“I know that you have been struggling, and I’m so sorry that I made it all about me. I do get it now,” I start.
Her green eyes open wide. “Then can you explain it to me? I don’t know why this keeps bothering me so much. I don’t want him, and I don’t want him to treat Claudia like shit either. I just?—”
“Don’t understand why he treats her with care when he didn’t do that for you,” I supply.
She shrugs. “Well, yeah, but why does that bother me? I have you, and you don’t treat me like he did. You worship me, actually,” she says.
I slide my free hand up her thigh. “I do enjoy getting on my knees for you.”
Shaking off that image, I press on. “I wonder if it has more to do with worrying that Liam’s wants and needs will always come before yours. I might not treat you like he did, but I’m not perfect, and I’ve put him first too many times. I thought that was my duty as a father to always take care of my son, but he is an adult and has a family of his own. If I don’t take care of you, then who is going to?”
She exhales a shaky breath, and her eyes turn glassy. “I—” she swallows “—think you might be right. I just wonder if he didn’t see me as enough, what is stopping you?”
“I’m sorry I ever gave you a reason to think that was even a possibility. I’m sorry I’ve prioritized him for so long. I just felt like I needed to compensate for what he didn’t have, that I didn’t stop to question whether or not what I was doing was actually helping him. It wasn’t. I do want to do one more thing, if you are willing to meddle with me.”
There’s a wariness in her expression. “What did you have in mind?”
“I want to explain this first,” I begin.
“That freaks me out. If you can’t just say it, then it must be really bad,” Wren comments.
She’s not wrong. This might be the dumbest idea I’ve ever had.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about the things you’ve been struggling with, questioning Liam’s actions, and all that. It also made me wonder why. I don’t have an answer because to me, you’re the reason, the sun, the center of gravity. It’s why I kept people from telling you what I now know was the truth about Liam. I never imagined he’d be stupid enough to cheat on you, because I knew if I ever got lucky enough to have you in my life, I’d never let you go.”
I feel my palms getting sweaty and pull my hand out of hers so I can scrub it on my jeans. “It made me wonder if the answer is that Liam is taking out his anger with his mother on you. I can’t explain why Claudia has been immune to it, and maybe she hasn’t been. Still, I wonder if he had a chance to ask his mother the questions he’s been struggling with, if he might not find the answers for yours.”
She’s silent after I explain. I feel a need to fill the quiet, because I must not have explained it right. “I don’t care to see Melinda myself, but this is something I should have done for Liam decades ago. I never tried to keep her in his life. I was so hurt that she threw us away that I just let her go. I think now I fucked up, though. He was two years old, and I was arrogant enough to think that a boy could get by with just his dad. Now I know that I was wrong. I just want to correct a very old mistake.”
“And you’re sure that’s all?” she finally asks.
