He rolls his eyes. “I’ll see what I can do, but at this point, I wouldn’t be doing Billy any favors to switch him back to offense. NFL recruiters want to see consistency, not a player who gets shoved in any available position.”
Here’s a novel thought. “Why don’t you ask him what he wants?”
Billy’squiet on the drive home from the hospital. Maybe he’s nervous. Marley looks like a rag doll in this car seat, even with the extra baby bumper. I swear I feel every pothole in the road, and each one fills me with worry that it’ll be too jarring for her.
I’m sitting in the back seat next to the baby, who’s facing backwards, but I keep glancing at Billy in the rearview mirror as he drives. “Is everything okay?” I finally ask.
“Yup.” Then silence.
“That doesn’t really sound like everything’s okay.”
“Just thinking.”
“Is it camp? I know things must be hard since you’re not staying with the guys on campus. Would it help if you moved back?” I’d hate that, and I’d miss him like crazy, but the team’s camaraderie is built during these summer training days, on and off the field.
His eyes dart to mine in the mirror. “Trying to get rid of me?”
“What? No, of course not. I was just thinking it’ll be nice to finally be home so I can sleep in the same bed with you, but I’d understand if that’s what you felt you needed to do.”
His responding grunt isn’t exactly the enthusiasm I was hoping for.
I don’t know what’s going on, but maybe this will cheer him up. “I have some good news. I talked to my parents this afternoon, and I told them the truth. My dad feels bad for giving you shit, as he should.”
“You told them the truth about what?” he asks, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.
“About Marley. About you not being the father. I want to get off on the right foot here and be the mom I know I should be.” He doesn’t say anything, which makes me frown. “I thought you’d be happy. You were always encouraging me to talk to my parents.” Again, no response. “You didn’t even tell me if you liked her name. I thought Marley was the perfect nickname for Marlena.”
“It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful baby,” he says gruffly.
When he doesn’t say anything else, I know something’s really wrong. “Billy, what’s going on? You’re acting… so cold. Like I don’t matter.”
He lets out a brittle laugh. “Roxy, all I’ve done since January is make you a priority in my life. You were pregnant and needed a stand-in father, I volunteered. You needed a roommate to make your parents happy, I stepped in. You needed a ride to doctor appointments, I gladly took you. You wanted to use my dick to break your water, I did the job.”
Flinching at the tone of his voice, I whisper, “You were never just a dick or a roommate or a chauffeur.”
“Funny, because that’s how I’m feeling right now.”
Tears quickly fill my eyes, and I inwardly curse that I’m such a faucet. When will these hormones settle down? I swipe at my face, angry that I can’t keep my emotions under control. “You’re my best friend, and I love you. Please don’t be angry with me. If I did something to make you feel unappreciated, I’m so sorry. I’ve been overwhelmed. I thought you’d be happy I told my parents the truth. You’ve been my rock, and I’d be heartbroken to know I’ve hurt you.”
The SUV slows down, and he pulls onto the shoulder of the road. We’re on a back road, so there’s no traffic. He looks downat his lap for several moments. Then he unsnaps his seat belt and throws open the door.
Oh my God. Is he leaving?
Relief pours through my body when he stalks back to my door and flings it open. “Come here.” Hesitantly, I unlock my seat belt, and next thing I know, I’m in his arms. “I’m sorry, biscuit. I got butthurt over something stupid, and I’m not handling it well.”
I squeeze him tight. “You’ve barely slept this week.” I hiccup into his chest. “You’re training all day and up with Marley and me at night. This baby thing is so much harder than I thought. But please don’t be mad at me. I can’t take that right now.”
He apologizes again. “This afternoon, I came by to see you and stopped off at the nursery. I saw that you had named the baby. It just caught me off guard.”
“You don’t like the name Marley?”
“I love Marley. I just wasn’t expecting you to name her Santos, which is stupid because that’s your name. I guess… I thought you were still going to put me down as the father on the birth certificate and give her… give her my last name.”
“Aww, babe.” Hot tears roll down my face. “I was going to. Up until the last minute. I’ve been debating it all week. It’s what I wanted to talk to you about the day I went into labor, but I got sidetracked by contractions. I finally researched paternity laws in Texas, and if I put you down on the birth certificate and had you sign all of the paperwork, you’d have to sue to get taken off. We’d have to go before a judge. It’s this whole ordeal with the state, and reading about it freaked me out. I hope you and I are together forever, but I didn’t want to put that on you.”
Sniffling, I look up at him and grab his handsome face. “The name doesn’t change anything between us, okay? I just don’t want to start her life with a lie. I’m done lying. It’s juvenile, andwhen I think of all the energy I wasted being scared of telling my parents the truth, I want to smack myself.”
“Guess having a baby puts a lot into perspective.” He kisses me on the forehead. Gives me a hug.
