She stands and shouts at me. “What? Like last week? Last month? When? What does ‘a long time ago’ mean?”
“It was in high school. Calm down.”
“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down. Why didn’t you tell me you came back to Charming Saturday night?”
I look down at the ground, pissed she doesn’t trust me, but also angry at myself for letting shit get to this point. “How do you know that?”
She swipes at the tears running down her face. “If you’re not going to be honest with me, why should I be honest with you?”
My jaw tightens. “What can I say to make you believe me?”
She holds out her hand. “Let me see your phone. If you have nothing to hide, then I should be able to go through your messages, right?”
“It needs to charge.”
“That sounds like an excuse.”
I’m not trying to give her excuses, but I do need a minute to think about what’s on my phone. I haven’t flirted with anyone since I started dating Roxy. Haven’t sexted anyone. Haven’t sent any dirty photos.
But my mind snags on that message Sam sent me.Don’t forget that date! I need me a football player!That could sound incriminating without any context, and I’m not sure Roxy would believe me if I told her I was setting Sam up with one of my teammates.
“You know what? You say you’re not cheating, but you look guilty as hell. Why is that?”
“I—I don’t know, Roxy. Just…”
She stares at her hands. She’s so still, it almost looks like she’s not breathing. I’m pissed but also worried. Roxy isn’t herself. “You don’t reach for me.”
“What?”
“You never reach for me anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
When her eyes meet mine, they’re welling with tears. “In bed. You never reach for me. In fact, I don’t remember the last time you kissed me on the mouth. Maybe the night I went into labor. Why don’t you kiss me anymore? I had Marley two months ago.”
I scoff. “You can’t even have sex yet. It’ll be at least another few weeks before you can do it.”
She shakes her head. “I told you last weekend the doctor gave me a thumbs-up, but it was like you didn’t even care.”
Shit. She did mention that.
Do I tell her I haven’t recovered from when we broke her water using my dick and she screamed in pain? I get turned on by her all the time, but the thought of actually having sex with her puts my head in a bad place. How the fuck do I phrase that?
I rub the back of my neck. “I kiss you. Just the other day, in fact. When I was leaving to go get us a pizza.”
“I kissed you.”
“What?”
“Ikissed you. You were standing in the kitchen, and I walked over to you, got in your face, and kissed you. You didn’t kiss me. And when you do, it’s a peck on my cheek, the same kind you give Marley.”
I hold up my hands. “Okay, I guess. I didn’t realize I needed to keep track of who kissed who and how I did it. Sorry.”
“No, don’t do that. Don’t act like everything is fine between us. You know as well as I do that it’s not. You never reach for me at night anymore. You don’t sleep naked anymore. You never kiss me anymore. We’re not fucking fine.”
I cover my mouth, a little stunned. “It’s not like that.” I mean, I don’t think it is. Sure, things are different between us, but she just had a damn baby. We’re both up to our eyeballs with school. I’m up at five thirty in the morning for football conditioning. Any spare time I have, I’m helping with Marley. And the last time we had sex, I broke her water and freaked myself out. What the fuck does she want from me?
“And then I come to find out that you have a class with Vicky and see her all the time. And you’re out late having dinner with her. And you took another woman for dinner with your parents.”
