By the time I’m done, the sun is starting to set. Zach and I drop off Carmen at work, before we grab some drive-thru and head to the ranch. It’s time to talk toJoey.
37
Joey
For one long,agonizing minute, I stand there and do themath.
Sevenyears.
Samantha’s child issevenyearsold.
That means Logan got this woman pregnantin high school. His senior year. Back when I was busy writing his name in my binder like a lovesick fool, he got this girl knockedup.
“Oh, honey. I know this must come as a shock to you.” Samantha pats me on theshoulder.
It’s only then that I realize I’m crying. I’m not sure why. Logan and I weren’t together until I came back from Florida. We certainly weren’t dating in high school, though I had hoped wecould.
Deep down, I’m mostly crushed he never told me. That he had a child with another woman and never mentioned it to me, his alleged best friend. And here I’ve been daydreaming about the life Logan and I could have together when he’s been lying to me about something so huge. Foryears.
Is Samantha being honest about being with him now? I’m not totally sure. This is the same woman who got me fired after all. I mean, I think it is. Ugh. I feel like I’m losing my mind, like I don’t know anything anymore. Who is Logan? Is he my best friend? Or is he the guy who’s kept this enormous secret from me and his whole family? Because I can guarantee Beverly doesn’t know about Zach. She’s nothing if not a proud grandmother, and she’d raise hell if Logan didn’t bring his babyaround.
“Do you want to see more pictures? I really should post a few of these to my Instagram.” Before I can tell her no, she’s scrolling, pointing out the places she and Logan went with their freakingkid.
What is it they say? A picture speaks a thousand words? Zach is obviously Logan’s clone. Same blue eyes. Same light blond hair Logan had when he was younger. Same nose and playfulsmirk.
Photo after photo. From last winter, last Halloween, last summer, the previous Christmas, at various dinners. Finally, I cover my eyes. The pain of seeing him with this woman and their kid in a parallel life cuts me to thequick.
I want to rage and scream at Samantha, but it’s not her fault Logan lied tome.
All signs point to him being this child’s father. Because what else could be going onhere?
As I wipe my face, I remember telling Logan that aguynamed Sam had texted him this morning. He could have corrected me, but hedidn’t.
No, he was walking out the door, and hepaused.
And then deliberately omitted that Sam is awoman.
More tearsfall.
Why is Logan such aliar?
I can barely breathe. Has our whole relationship been a lie? Is he really dating this woman, and I’m just a convenient fuck? Is he expecting me to go back to Florida and thought he could get laid while I was in town and then go back to his realgirlfriend?
Rambo squirms in my arms, and I put him on the ground as I attempt to hold in a sob. Tugging my shirt down, I try to cover my barelegs.
“I-I’m gonna go put some clothes on.” My words are barely above a whisper. “Make yourself at home, Iguess.”
“Honey, I’m sorry to say this.” She looks me over, and a little piece of me dies from embarrassment to be scrutinized by Logan’s beautiful baby mama. “But do you really think you should be staying here? It’s kinda inappropriate. Don’t youthink?”
I nod, feeling like I just got sucker-punched by life. Though I’m not sure where I can go. I need to talk to Logan. At the very least, I plan to give him a piece of my mind and maybe my foot up his ass. But I’m not sure I can carry on that conversation right now. What I need is a night to pull myselftogether.
“Let me get mythings.”
She nods. “I can give you a ride wherever. And you’re probably headed back to Florida soon,right?”
“Yeah.” It’s impossible to see through the tears. “I’ll be going back toFlorida.”
As soon aspossible.
