This was impossible, but it was there in front of me, and I… I couldn’t escape it as Otto tilted his head and started across the room.
“God, Warren. You always were all talk. Let’s see if we can turn that into something more palatable.”
I saw Warren’s expression then, the anger and defensiveness falling away at whatever he saw on Otto’s face.
“You’re different too. You’re…” He shuddered, trying to recoil, trying to jerk his arms free. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Death does funny things to a man. Torture is worse. Don’t worry, you’ll understand soon enough.” His lyrical voice sounding so cruel was almost paralyzing. It left me frozen to the bed, incapable of escaping, unable to look away when the man’s face went pale and he swallowed hard.
“Otto, wait…”
“Come on, Warren. How many months did you torture me? How many times did you leave me begging to die?”
“I didn’t—”
“Don’t lie. It won’t do you any good.” I stared in silent horror as the man who was definitely someonedifferentstarted to scream.
When Otto pressed his lips to my temple after he was done, I was a shivering, shaking mess. He smelled like blood, and the heat of his arms wrapping around me couldn’t quite erase the cold feeling tearing through my body. He’dtorturedWarren. He’d made him scream—in the end, he’d made him beg—but he didn’t stop. It was different this time, though.
Every cut came with words—exact details of what Warren had done to him.
How he’d hurt him.
How he’d broken him.
And something inside me was at war. I was terrified at the blood, at the screams, at the pain.
And I was drowning in Otto’s pain. His past. In the things that had beendoneto him. In the guilty knowledge that if I’d been a worse person, I’d almost say the man chained to the walldeservedwhat was happening to him… which made me wonder if I deserved what was happening to me too.
If he was telling the truth… If past lives really were real…
What had I done to break Otto into the monster he was now?
The thought fucked with me more than it should have.
He didn’t stop until Warren fainted, and Otto was trembling when he turned to face me. It almost felt like his arms wrapping around me were for his sake more than mine this time. He held me against his chest until I stopped shaking, until my breath evened out… until I let the monster who’d terrified me soothe the fear he’d caused… ButOttowas still shaking when he pulled back. A soft tremor that the cold, dispassionate tone of his voice didn’t mirror.
“He liked to make me cry. He’d stay until I did, and I always broke because it hurt so much.” His fingers trailed slowly along my arm, brushing up and down in the ghost of a touch that made me shiver. He’d been messy enough this time that it left smears of blood on my skin, soft proof that somewhere between when he’d started and ended, Otto had lost control. “Why doesn’t it feel any different, London?”
I frowned, turning my head up to look at him. I didn’t understand what he was asking. I could barely think around the horrific sounds still playing in my ears from what I’d just seen, yet…
“What do you mean?”
“I broke him the way he broke me, but nothing feels different.” His eyes narrowed and his hand lifted. When Otto trailed his fingers through my hair, I froze under his touch. Those hands had opened a man up.
Those hands were the only thing making menotfly apart.
And I…
“What did you expect to happen?” I spoke softly, my voice a little unsure. When I moved, Otto watched me with suspicious eyes… but I just ghosted my fingers over his wrist, avoiding the streak of blood on his tan skin. I didn’t understand why I wanted to touch him, why some part of me wanted to draw him close and wrap my arms around him. He wasn’t exactlyvulnerable…but it was like a part of him was broken. A part of him was shattered.
I didn’t understand why I felt the need to gather up those pieces like I’d been the one who’d thrown the stone.
“I don’t know.” He searched my face like the answers to questions I didn’t even understand would be there. “I thought hurting him would…” Otto’s lips twitched, and his eyes drifted to the side like he was seeing things I couldn’t see. “I thought it would be… satisfying. But it’s not. He was still a fucking asshole, and I’m still empty… The only thing different in any of this… is you.”
His eyes came back to mine then, and there was real danger there. That same cold expression I’d seen on his face when Warren spoke.
“I…”
