“Oh, Tobias, dear. This is Ellie. I found this phone at the gallery. I wasn’t sure who it belonged to. Is it Miss Kiki’s?”
My heart sinks. “Yes.”
“I’ll give it to her tomorrow at church.”
I don’t have the heart to tell Ellie that Kiki won’t be there. “Okay. Thanks, Ellie.”
“Goodbye, dear.”
I hang up with her, disappointment settling over me. I miss hearing Kiki’s voice. I don’t know how I’ll go on without her. It hurt when Courtney left me, but this is different. It’s a deeper pain. Kiki and I connected in a way I can’t even describe. She breathed life into me. Part of my soul has been ripped out.
I stare at the rain outside, feeling like a hollow shell of a person. She left, and she won’t ever come back. The realization that I may never see her again settles over me, and tears prick at the backs of my eyes. I was just getting used to the idea that I was in love with her. And now she’s gone.
She lied to me, and it hurt me, but I finally understand why she did. She’s never had a fair shake. I’ve come to terms with what she did. I’ve even forgiven her for it.
Movement catches my eye, and I look over to the porch swing. It moves again. I squint, trying to see in the dark. I can just make out a shadowy figure, and I swear it’s Kiki. I blink, sure I’m mistaken.
No. I’m not mistaken. It’s Kiki, sitting on the swing, alone, in the rain. I flick on the lights above her and step outside the door, under the awning. She jerks her gaze to me, her eyes wide. She’s drenched to the skin, her hair hanging limp.
I look at her, somehow frightened that if I move, or speak, she’ll disappear into thin air. Is it really true she came back? Or do I want to see her so badly I’m imagining she’s here?
“You didn’t leave.” The words come out without me thinking about them. Talk about stating the obvious. Duh.
She looks down at her lap. “I couldn’t. I got on the shuttle, but it only went two blocks before I made them stop and let me off.”
“At least you didn’t look like a crazy person.” I clench my jaw. What’s wrong with me?
Her lips turn up in a small smile. “Yeah.”
The rain continues to fall. “Come inside.”
She shakes her head but doesn’t speak.
“But it’s wet.”
“I’m not made of sugar,” she mumbles.
I stand there for a moment. Finally, I can’t stand it anymore. “Why did you come back?”
She blinks, and tears form in her eyes. That’s when I notice how puffy her eyes are. She’s been crying. “I have something to say.”
I wait for her. She blinks a few times before continuing. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I shouldn’t have come here looking for her. It was wrong.” Kiki’s voice breaks, and it cuts a hole in my heart.
I walk to the swing and sit next to her, the rain pelting me. “You may have gone about things in a backwards way, but I understand why you did it.”
She stares at me, eyes wide. “You’re not mad at me?” Her voice is small.
I slowly reach for her hand, afraid that if I move too fast, she’ll disappear. I slide my fingers through hers. “Not anymore. It’s true, I was shocked and angry when I first found out, but I understand now. I’m glad you came.”
She lowers her gaze. “You’re glad?”
“Yes. You brought something into my life I haven’t had in a long time. You brought laughter and fun. You awakened a part of me that I thought was dead.” I swallow and lift her chin so I can stare into her deep blue eyes. “I fell in love with you.”
She slowly shakes her head. “How do you not hate me?”
My throat grows tight, and I have a hard time breathing. I cup her face as her tears mix with the rain. “Oh, Kat. I couldn’t hate you. You spent so much time hating yourself, there’s no hate left for me.”
She closes her eyes, a pained expression on her face. “You see me so well.”
