Noah sighs. “I think she might have heard us talking. I’m guessing she’s upset.”
Fury surges through me and I stand. “I want you to find her and press charges. I want a restraining order. I don’t want her anywhere near my daughter!”
Noah scrubs a hand over his face. “Did you read those documents?”
I toss the folder onto the table. “No.”
Noah narrows his eyes at me. “She was eighteen when she got pregnant. Her parents kicked her out. She had nowhere to go, so she left town with her scummy boyfriend. He robbed a convenience store, and when the police tried to pull them over, he put a gun to her head. She gave birth in prison and gave up her baby for adoption. So, before you go pressing charges and slapping restraining orders on her, maybe take a minute to think about what you would have done in that situation.”
I stare at him, stunned. I’m so shocked I don’t even know what to say. Her boyfriend put a gun to her head? This was Skyler’s father?
Noah picks up the folder and shoves it at me. “Read it. And for heaven’s sake, don’t go off all half-cocked on the girl.”
I grab his arm. “Do you have feelings for her?”
He shakes his head. “No. I just know you. I know how you hate being lied to, and how stubborn you can be. And I know you’re in love with her.”
I can’t argue with that. But I’m too upset to think clearly. If I see Kiki right now, I’ll yell at her, and that doesn’t feel like the right thing to do. I take a step back and let go of Noah’s arm. “I need to think about things.”
“All right. Go. I’ll look for Kiki. If she overheard us, she’s probably scared you’re going to…well, do all the things you just yelled at me you wanted to do.”
I cringe. Noah’s right. I need to go cool down before I see her again or I might say something I totally regret. “I’ll go watch the parade with Skyler. When you find Kiki, text me.”
I walk away from Noah before he has a chance to reply. I’m still struggling with my anger at her lies, but a part of me feels awful for it. She went through a lot of pain.
As I walk to the street where the parade will take place, I remember her tattoo. It makes sense now. The crying phoenix for the daughter she gave up. The relative she said she was looking for. She told me her goal in life was to be a mother and that was ripped from her when she went to prison.
I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. All her interactions with Skyler come to mind, and I see them in a new light. I see a woman, desperate to find her daughter, finally getting to hold her, and care for her. Emotion surges in me as I think about how upset she was as we watched the ships race. It wasn’t because I pressed her for details last night. It was because she was getting ready to leave the island.
I had the feeling she was going to leave, and now I’m sure. She’s leaving for good. I pull out my phone and text Noah.
I think Kiki’s trying to leave the island.
He texts me right back.
I’ll head toward the shuttle and ask around. Do you have a picture of her?
I scroll through my phone and send him the photo of her standing next to me in the basement of the church. The one where she’s holding Skyler, and it looks like we’re a family. My throat grows tight, and I have a hard time breathing.
I join Levi and Skyler standing on the street corner, waiting for the parade to start. The clouds have thickened, and it really looks like it’s going to rain now.
Skyler looks up at me. “Where’s Kiki?”
Guilt floods through me. “Noah’s trying to find her.”
Skyler’s eyebrows pull together. “Is she lost?”
My heart breaks as I stare at my daughter and realize she’s asking for her mother. “Yes,” I say without thinking.
Skyler bursts into tears and I pick her up to console her. Levi shakes his head at me. “You screwed up that bad, huh?” he whispers. “Did she leave?”
“I hope not,” I answer, and I realize I mean it. I want to talk to Kiki and straighten things out. I’m still upset and trying to cool my anger, but I don’t want her to leave. We need to talk through all of this.
CHAPTER 35
KIKI EMMERSON
My feet hurt and I can’t see clearly through my tears as I try to walk as fast as I can. My throat is too tight, and it’s hard to breathe. I should have left a long time ago. I can’t believe I let myself get carried away. The guilt from what I’ve done chokes me. I thought I felt shame when I went to prison, but that was nothing compared to how I feel right now. I hurt the people I love the most.
