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CHAPTER 19

TOBIAS BARRETT

Istare at my computer screen, the sounds of Kiki and Skyler outside playing together coming through the open window. I’m embarrassed about last night, so this morning I shut myself in my office, unable to face Kiki. I’m back to wearing my usual business attire. I feel foolish for even thinking that changing my clothes would make Kiki like me.

I exhale. I thought things were going well. I really felt like Kiki and I had mutual feelings. I’m confused about why she rejected me. Did I move too fast? Did I let Levi’s taunting get to me and do something I shouldn’t have? I shake my head and stand up.

Skyler giggles outside, and part the curtain to peek at her. She and Kiki are running through the sprinkler. Oh, dear heavens. I never should have looked out the window. Kiki’s wearing a pink and white striped swimsuit, and I can’t stop staring at her curves. I’m amazed once again that I didn’t thinkshe was beautiful when I first saw her. She keeps proving me wrong.

Skyler screams as the water sprays her. Kiki runs and grabs her, picking her up and flying her through the air. Skyler holds her arms out wide.

“You look like an airplane,” Kiki says laughing.

Skyler giggles as she flies through the air. The pure joy on her face touches me. Even though Kiki rejected me, I swallow my pride for the sake of my daughter. Skyler matters most to me.

Kiki sets her down next to the sprinkler.

“Fly me again!” Sky lifts her arms up and I chuckle. I could have predicted that one.

Kiki’s a good sport and flies Skyler around until I’m sure her arms ache. “Let’s go dry off and we can make chocolate chip muffins,” she finally suggests. Skyler, of course, doesn’t object.

I close the window and go back to my computer. I need to respond to about a hundred emails and look at five business proposals. As I work, the smell of the chocolate chip muffins wafts in and my stomach growls. Even though I want one, I stay in my office. I work until it’s past lunchtime.

As I’m scrolling through the second proposal, Kiki knocks and then enters my office. I look up. “Yes?”

“I thought you might be hungry.” She brings a plate to me. It has a sandwich and a muffin. How did she know I was dying for one of those?

I pick up the muffin and take a bite. It’s as delicious as it smells. “Thanks.” I try to ignore her and continue reading through the proposal, but she doesn’t leave, and I can’t comprehend the words on my screen.

Finally, when it’s clear she’s not leaving, I look up at her. She twists her fingers together and shifts her weight. She’s wearing a simple tank top and cut off shorts, and she looks like she feels as awkward as I do.

Gah. I’m such a dolt. Why is this so hard? Employer. Employee. Hands off. She stares at the floor, the tension between us is palpable. “Do you need something else?” I finally ask.

“About last night…” She lifts her gaze, and I take in a deep breath.

It’s plain to me that I messed up everything. She’s uncomfortable, and I want to hide under my desk. This is so not good. “Let’s forget last night,” I blurt out.

Her shoulders square. “Yes. Let’s go back to the way things were before.”

It’s not as simple as that, but just agreeing that we need to forget about the kiss makes me feel better. “That’s a good idea.”

“Skyler’s been asking if we can go to the marina. I don’t want to bother you if you have work, but she seems so excited about it.”

At that moment Skyler comes running into my office. “Please, Daddy? Can we go to the marina?”

Guilt surfaces in my chest. I haven’t had time to take her there for the last few months. Why is it that no matter what I do, I feel like I’m failing as a parent? Is this how all parents feel?

Kiki bites her lip. “I’m sorry, I tried to keep her in the kitchen. If you’re too busy for the marina?—”

“I’m almost done.” I shut my laptop to hide my lies. I can’t say no to that angelic face grinning at me. Things might be a bit awkward with Kiki since I messed up, but we have to get past it. She’s a great nanny and I can’t lose her. “I can take you over there.”

“Yay!” Skyler shouts and jumps up and down. She runs out of the office. Kiki smiles at me, although it seems strained.

“I’ll be ready in a few minutes.” I pick up the sandwich Kiki made for me and take a bite. It’s ham and cheese, but there’sanother flavor in it that I can’t decipher. “This is good. What’s in it?”

“Ham, lettuce, mayo, cheese, olives and a little drizzle of Italian dressing.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Italian dressing?”