I do get to the airport on time and in one piece, so there’s something to be said for trusting my instincts.
Can’t say the same for my heart.
Because like a fool, I wait for him at the airport and even look back before I board.
33
Wilder
Gut-wrenchingly hollow. With a heavy weight of regret stuck in my chest. If I’m honest, it’s been there all week, but it’s especially strong this morning.
I can still see her. That look in her eyes begging me to understand the innocence in what she did.
Fuck, I still don’t. I never will.
But that little misstep is not what made me walk out. It just opened my eyes. Because all I saw was myself being that mistake for her down the line.
I watched the light in her eyes flicker out. Watching her swallow hard, give me a small nod like she understood when I asked her to give me time. No, a day. I asked for a day.
And I’ve been a coward all week. Albeit busy with damage control at the ranch, but nonetheless, a coward.
She was right in that text she sent me. It all happened so fast.
One minute I’m asking her to stay with me. We’d work the rest out. Her brother, her dreams, we’d figure it all out. I’d make it number one on all my lists until we do.
Next, I tell her I need time and leave her in tears.
All because of that part in me that never wants to feel not enough, a second thought .?.?. like someone you can walk away from.
I growl, pinching the bridge of my nose hard as I realize the irony of my actions.
Shit.
Why does it feel too damn quiet here? And empty.
What day is it? Rose is supposed to come here with the timecards for payroll. I check the time. Almost eleven. She always has them ready for me before noon on Thursdays.
I stand and pace, my heart racing as I think of what I’m going to say to her. If I’m even ready to say it.
An hour later, I nearly leap out of my seat at the sound of an engine humming outside the Saddle Room, even if it is too loud to be some decked-out golf cart.
Sure enough, Dallas bursts through the door like he owns half the place.
“Hey,” I grumble.
Unlike me, he’s a heavy coffee drinker. And right about now I’ll take any scent that reminds me of her.
I check the time again.
Whereisshe?It’salmostnoon.
Rose’s lights were out already by the time I rode by last night so I’m assuming she didn’t have a late start today.
I pull up the schedule again for a distraction, even though I’ve already memorized it and know we’re in good shape for the weekend. Rose made sure of it.
The only real problems I’ve got now are two sick animals and a head chef not talking to me.
“Look, man, I know things are a little hectic right now, but you need to slow down,” Dallas says, taking a seat at Rose’s desk. “You’ve been running around all week like a chicken without a head.”
