And for me.
I am afraid that the end has already begun for me.
“I don’t want to be the one to say it, but if things get bad…”
“I’m not marrying Seth, Paul. There’s no way I’m doing that. It was a long shot, I admit it, but at the time, I just wanted time to prepare the case and him. And that’s what I got.”
“Mmm…”
“Stop it. It’s just fiction. Nothing more.”
“Even sleeping with him was fiction?”
“That was… collateral damage.”
“Collateral damage?” Seth’s voice makes us both turn. I get to my feet quickly, but I can tell by his tear-filled eyes that I am already well beyond any chance of redemption.
“I just came to…” He shows me a sandwich. “I thought that you might be hungry and…” he says, sobbing. “And I thought that… I thought it was true.”
“And I thought you were less naïve.”
Seth’s eyes go wide, struck by my unjustifiably bad outcome.
“Seth…”
“We’re just a case to win for you.”
“What did you think it was?”
He smiles bitterly, then wipes his eyes. “Forget it. Someone like you could never understand.”
“Someone like me? What do you mean?’
“Heartless.”
He leaves the sandwich on one of the benches in the front row, then turns and leaves the courtroom in the deafening silence that has returned in my life and my heart.
* * *
“YOU SHOULD GO and talk to him,” Paul suggests again. The judge is about to return, but Seth has not yet taken his seat next to me. I think he’s trying to delay as long as he can.
“This is not the time.”
“The more time passes, the more irredeemable you become.”
“I don’t need a lawyer.”
“You never need anything.”
“Here I am, I came as soon as I could,” Vanessa runs towards us. She kisses Paul, then hugs me. “What did I miss?” she asks, looking at us both.
“Nothing love, just our Rowan screwing up his love life.”
“Will you stop?” I say between my teeth.
“I don’t understand.” Vanessa looks at me, waiting for an explanation.
“I screwed up, okay?” I say impatiently. “I’m stressed and worried. It’s not an easy thing.”
