“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. You don’t owe me anything.”
“It’s just hard for me.”
Seth lifts his head, his lips resting on my chest, on my heart.
“I lost my family many years ago.”
Seth continues to place light kisses on my skin.
“There were five of us in that house. Five siblings. I was the oldest.”
“Did you take care of them?”
“I did what I could.”
“You were a good boy.” His cautious words and understated tone almost make me want to cry.
“I had to.”
“Did you feel the responsibility to be the oldest?”
He continues to help me open up with his gentle manner, his eyes on me, sweet and true.
“I wish I had someone like you in my life,” I say from the bottom of my heart.
His expression becomes even softer.
“If someone had fought for us… Instead…” I shrug. ‘We were alone.”
His hand caresses the small of my back.
“They separated us.”
Seth’s hand suddenly stops.
“Me and my siblings.”
His eyes meet mine in the darkness.
“My mother… She couldn’t look after us. She was a drug addict.”
“Oh, Rowan.”
“They took us away from home one autumn morning. I remember the tree outside my window was all red.” I smile. I don’t know why. “I was…. I’m the oldest. They couldn’t take me away from them. The screams, Seth… I can still hear them, sometimes, at night.”
Seth’s arms wrap around my neck. “I’m sorry.”
I stroke his arm slowly.
“She just needed help. You know? She wasn’t a bad mother, just… Just after my dad left…”
Seth’s arms tighten.
“I’m sure if they had helped her, if social services had put their energy into helping her get back on track…”
“Is that why you agreed to help me?”
“Does it matter?”
