“Do you want the truth? The real reason I’m considering turning down the spot?” I stand up. We are on the attention of some of the other guests now, but it doesn’t stop me. “It’s because I don’t want to turn out likeyou. I don’t want to have a family that’s a decoration piece. I don’t want to sacrifice time and care for my patients to chase down another stupid award or accolade. I don’t want to be a doctor who only cares about the titles and records I hold—like you. And no, staying in Las Vegas isn’t the fastest way. And it’s not the most prestigious way, but I like it there. I have friends and I’ve built a life for myself and that’s important to me, too. I know that’s something you’ll never understand. You think I’m the one playing games? You’ve always known how badly I wanted this, and then you passed me over and swore up-and-down you couldn’t call anybody to get me placed. And then, what? On a whim you just decide to and it’s all taken care of? This was all a game to you. It was never about my actual abilities. You wanted to drive my career because you knew you could.”
My dad’s face hardens, and I expect him to blow up at any second, but I continue before he can.
“And maybe you’re right. Maybe I did move to Las Vegas and do all of this because I was emotional. It wasn’t because I was angry at you or trying to stick it to you, though. It was because I wanted you to be proud of me. For once. But you know what? I don’t care about that anymore. It’s a pointless fight, anyway.” Hot, angry tears pool in my eyes.
I grab my things and push out my chair.
“Maddie, don’t go.” Jake stands.
“Let her,” my father says harshly. “Running away only proves how childish she is.”
Every part of me wants to turn around and unleash my rage on my dad, but I know it’s not worth it. I look around the room for Ernie, but he’s right next to me, and I realize he heard the whole thing. A furious blush fills my cheeks, but I ignore it and quickly say goodbye to my mother and brothers.
Part of me hoped that coming back might rejuvenate some of the passion I had for medicine a few years ago, but it’s actually done the opposite. The only thing that it rejuvenated is my bitterness toward my father and the job that monopolized him my entire life.
Even when I’m angry with Roman, I can admit what an incredible father he is. He’s got plenty of faults, but I can see day in and day out that he does his very best for Ty, and that he puts him first in every situation.
That was never the case with my dad. To be honest, I only have one childhood memory that includes him. The day that I almost drowned in our backyard swimming pool. My dad was supposed to be watching me, but one of his trainees called and needed his help with something, so he stepped away for a minute. I don’t know how long he was actually gone, but it was long enough for me to wander down to the deep end of the pool, jump in, andsink to the bottom. He got me out just in time, but I never told a soul what really happened that day. He got to be the hero who saved me, and I got to be the only one who knew it was his fault to begin with.
Dedication is a trait he passed down proudly. Jake missed the birth of his first child because he was on call at another hospital. And the love of Lucas’s life walked away because she didn’t want to come second to his work, and he couldn’t make any compromises. This job has robbed my family of so much over the years, and the more I think about it, the less I like it.
But maybe I never really did at all. Maybe it’s always been about proving myself to my dad. Making him proud. Being the best. Maybe I never wanted to give this career my entire life the way the rest of my family did.
There’s never been any doubt that I love being a surgeon. And at its very core, it’s about helping people. It’s not about prestige or awards or fancy titles. And maybe it’s time to give up my crusade to be the best. It clearly hasn’t worked so far. Staying in Las Vegas will eventually make me a trauma surgeon, just not as quickly, but there’s nothing wrong with that. With trusting the process. With taking my time.
I’m not chasing my father’s footsteps anymore, so maybe it’s time I make some of my own. I honestly don’t know what the best choice is, but for the first time, I feel confident that I’ll be making that choice based on what’s best for me—not for my dad.
It’s late, but Ernie comes to the rescue and finds us a flight home. As we’re boarding, I try to call Roman a few times, but it just goes to voicemail, so he must still be mad at me.
The house is dark when Ernie and I pull up, and I know Ty and Roman are probably both sleeping. I don’t care, though. I’m going to wake them up and tell them how much I missed and love them, and end this stupid argument with Roman. Thepeople in my life will never have to wonder how I feel about them.
I use my key and open the door quietly.
“Do you want me to take your bag upstairs?” Ernie offers.
“You don’t need to do that. You’ve already done enough. Thank you for everything.” I give him a hug. “Head home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” Ernie gives me a tight squeeze. “And Maddie, for the record, I think your father is a sack of shit for saying the things he did.”
I bit my lip to stifle my laughter. “Thank you.”
Ernie smiles one more time before closing the door behind him. I let out a heavy sigh, happy to be home and excited to see Roman.
There’s a creak on the stairs, and I turn towards it.
“Roman?” I ask, moving towards the noise cautiously.
Silence. Another creak.
“Hello?”
Chapter Thirty-Two
“H-hello?”Myvoicebreaksas I stand in the darkness, realizing how stupid of me it was to send Ernie away. At least until Roman knew I was home.
I gasp as a dark figure moves toward me. The man who left the picture threatening us is back to finish the job, I’m sure of it.
“Maddie? Is that you?” Right as the figure steps into the light, I recognize Joe’s voice.
