“It’s so good to have you home, Mads,” my brother Lucas says as we all sit down at the head table for dinner. “I can’t wait until you’re home for good and we can see you more often.”
“Well, it might happen sooner than we think.” My dad winks. “I have it on good authority that Madison was offered a spot in the fast track program in LA.”
Oh god. Not only did I not know my dad knew about the offer, I wanted to avoid the topic entirely this weekend. At least until I knew more about it and had made my decision.
“What? Maddie, that’s incredible! Congratulations!” Jake hugs me.
“Oh, sweetheart, that’s wonderful! We’re so proud of you!” My mom reaches over and squeezes my hand.
“Thank you.” I force a smile on the pride, while inside, I’m about to have a panic attack. “I just barely found out about it before my trip.”
“How soon will you have to be there? Jake and I can come help with the move if you want!” Lucas offers.
“That’s really sweet of you, but I don’t know yet. I’m going to talk to the surgeon in charge next week and then make my decision, so it’s probably—”
“Make your decision?” My dad snorts, cutting me off. “What decision is there to make?”
Here we go.
“Whether or not I’m going to take it.” I press my lips together.
“Why wouldn’t you?” Jake looks at me in confusion, but he’s the closest I’ve got to an ally at this table, so there’s a hint of sympathy in his eyes. Mostly because he knows the wrath I’m about to receive.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Madison. Of course you’re going to take it.” My dad recoils. “I had to pull a lot of strings to make that happen and—”
“You did what?”
It feels like someone punched me in the chest. Did I hear him right?Hemade a call?Hepulled the strings?
His face flushes as he realizes he slipped up. “I called a friend of mine in LA and asked him to open up a spot for you on his team.”
My stomach drops, like I might throw up right here. This can’t be happening. It can’t be true. I asked him for months to help me get in somewhere, and he always told me he couldn’t do it. All this time, my spot was just a phone call away. It wasn’t that he couldn’t do it, he just wouldn’t.
I swallow, carefully considering the next thing I say.
“Well, thanks Dad. If I decide to take it, I’ll really owe you.”
“There is noif, Madison. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and if you turn it down, you’ll tarnish your career. Your name.”
“Yourname.” I bit my lip.
Don’t do this. Just get through dinner and go home.
It’s too late, though. The words are already out of my mouth.
“Excuse me?” My dad’s face twists.
“If I turn the spot down, it will damage your name, which is really all you care about, anyway. You never thought I had what it takes. I’d think you’d be happy that I proved you right.”
Jesus, Maddie. Talk about full send.
My dad chuckles, shaking his head. “That’s because this has never been about you becoming a trauma surgeon, Madison. It’s always been some stupid crusade to stick it to me. You were upset that I actually wanted you to put in the work and not have the whole thing handed to you, so you uprooted your entire life and spent thousands of dollars to prove some kind of idiotic point to me. Now, you don’t even have the dedication to followthrough with that. I knew you weren’t cut out for this, but I humored you anyway. But here we are. Exactly where I thought we’d be.”
His words prickle across my skin like thorns, and for a minute, I’m frozen. His words sting worse than I want to admit. I feel a burning hole in my heart, staring back at him and realizing this was all I’m ever going to get from him. Nothing will ever be enough and I have to accept it. He’s never given me any indication that he’ll change, and I have to quit hoping because it only makes me more disappointed.
I’ve never stood up to my father before, but I’ve had about all of his self-righteous act that I can stand and I’m crumbling.
“Maddie, your dad just means…” My mom reaches for my hand, trying to smooth things over.
