Riley had been quick to bitch and complain about mucking stalls the other day. I was sure he would find other things he didn’t enjoy and would consider quitting over them, too.
After we were done for the evening, Rodrigo headed home, and I retired to my trailer. A storm had been on the horizon for a couple hours, and around midnight, it finally made its presence known. I had kept my eyes on the sky, tracking the storm.
I didn’t like thunderstorms, and I was praying that it would just pass over without incident. I should have known I wouldn’t get that lucky. I never got that lucky.
We got a lot of storms where we lived. The warm weather from the coast would make its way over, and the sky would drum up a storm to cool everything off. They didn’t happen every day, but often enough that I felt tortured. After seven years, the storms still bothered me just as much as the first one.
My parents weren’t material people. We had this trailer, which was sparsely furnished. They had their clothing and a few keepsakes, but nothing major. I had one item from each of them that I clung to, like it would keep me from forgetting them.
I was lying in my bed, wearing my dad’s sweater and wearing my mom’s engagement ring. I always did this when it stormed. Everyone had their ways of coping, and this was mine. It’d been my ritual for seven years.
I sat quietly listening to the rain bounce off the tin roof of the trailer and the wind howl against the windows. I just needed to make it through the storm. The wind would pass, and the thunder and lightning would eventually stop. The rain would calm down, and when all of that happened, I would finally be able to sleep.
Some of the horses got restless in this weather. Most storms, I went and sat with them in the barn, talking to them to calm them. I wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon; this storm was just getting started. I was resigned to my habits and struggled for the energy to pull myself from bed.
I heard Riley’s truck roll down the driveway at a much slower pace than usual as I threw on my rain boots. They came up to the mid-calf of my naked legs. My shorts did not make an effort to even cover my knees. With my dad’s sweater hanging off my shoulder and my mom’s ring still on my ring finger, I grabbed my umbrella and walked through the pouring rain to the stable.
I heaved the stable door open in the wind, requiring more effort than usual. I didn’t look back as I closed the door behind me.
I sat in front of Athena’s stall on a hay bale. I ignored the way it itched the back of my legs. Athena had been nuzzling Tigger through the bars separating the top half of their stalls. Despite their owners being at odds ninety-nine percent of the time, these two horses didn’t let that stop them from being best friends. Rodrigo would say they were a bonded pair, but I hesitated with that classification. As if me denying it would make it not so. I didn’t want them to be bonded. I didn’t want anything else in life that tied me to Riley; we already had too much of that.
When Riley took Tigger out to the rodeos, Athena was always antsy until he returned. It was a tell-tale sign that they were bonded. Who was I to argue with facts? I was in denial.
Horses were simple. They didn’t play games with your emotions. They were what they were, and I loved them all the same for it.
A loud crack of lightning struck nearby and caused me to jump.
“Emma, are you in there?” a loud voice called out through the storm.
I knew that voice. What was he doing out here?
The large barn door was pulled open on its track. Riley was standing there in the rain before he rushed inside, closing the door behind him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, blinking back a tear.
“I was out at a club, and I saw the storms were getting bad. I realized that the responsible thing to do would be to leave. So here I am. I drove the speed limit, and I am not drunk.” He was also being a smartass.
“No, but you are soaking wet,” I said, nodding my head toward his soaked clothes.
“The consequences of hunting you down. I saw you walk across the lawn and wanted to see what was wrong. Are the horses okay?”
But why?
I nodded.
There was a moment of silence as he walked toward me, as if he was testing the waters. I didn’t protest, so he took a few more steps, closing the distance between us.
“Can I?” he asked, referring to the spot next to me on the hay bale.
No. I wanted to be by myself. I was always by myself with the horses during the storms. I was a creature of habit to a fault and didn’t like change. I didn’t want this change, but I didn’t want to be a jerk. I didn’t want to punish him for his first attempt at trying to be a decent human being. So I would let him practice on messed-up me.
I worked a little harder to shield my heart.
I scooted over a little bit to make room. I reached to my left and scooped up a clean blanket that was saved for the older horses.
“Here, take this,” I offered.
“Thank you.”
