I rolled my eyes. “Stubborn behemoth.”
“Takes one to know one.”
I shook my head as I climbed into my SUV. The drive home was silent with only the clear, starry sky to keep me company. The farther away I got from Tuck, the more the phantom pain in my chest flared to life. Tears gathered in my eyes, soon spilling over and tracking down my cheeks. What was I doing, letting my heart latch onto a man who had never once been in a relationship? Who’d never once made a promise to me beyond the here and now. When Tuck needed his freedom—and at some point, he would—I was going to be crushed.
As I pulled up to my guest house, the front porch lamp illuminated my grandmother. I wiped at my face before turning off the car, hoping the low light would disguise any signs of crying. I slipped from my vehicle and made my way to the house. “Where are Mom and Dad?”
My grandma tipped her rocker back and forth. “Those two lovebirds? Couldn’t keep their hands off each other, so I sent them back to the ranch house so they could get busy without worrying about me being underfoot.”
I grimaced. “Did you really have to share those details?”
She shrugged. “You asked. Have a seat.” She inclined her head to the rocker next to her.
I sat and began to rock, letting the cold night air soothe me.
“Want to tell me why you’ve been crying?” Grandma kept staring straight ahead, still rocking.
Of course, she would know I’d been crying. Grams would likely say it was because she was psychic, but I knew it was because she had such strong empathy for those she loved. I let out a long breath. “I did something stupid again.”
Her rocking stopped. “You stop talking about my granddaughter like that or I’ll take you over my knee.” My brows rose. “I’ve held my tongue, but I can see now that was a mistake. None of what has happened around here recently is your fault. Just like falling for the wrong guy in college wasn’t your fault. Is Noah a mistake?”
“No. Never.”
Grandma started rocking again. “Of course, he’s not. Jensen, awful things happen—betrayal, death. Our world is full of it, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be some good that comes from it. Always look for the good, baby girl. Noah is that good. Taylor and Walker finding each other is that good.”
“I think I’m in love with Tuck.” The words just tumbled out of me as if they had a mind of their own.
Grandma kept right on rocking. “Of course, you are.”
“Excuse me?”
“You and Tucker have loved each other since before you knew what that meant.”
My hands gripped the arms of the rocker. “Tuck is not in love with me.”
My grandma stilled and turned to face me. “Of course, he is. But it terrifies him, and he doesn’t know what to do with it.”
Something that felt a lot like hope flared to life in my chest. I shoved it down. “He cares about me. Maybe even loves me in his own way. But I don’t think he’ll ever want to commit to a single woman for the rest of his life.” I stared out at the starry night sky. “If I let him all the way in…I’m not sure I’ll recover when he leaves.”
Grams reached over and patted my hand. “Love is always a risk. There’s no way around it. He’ll hurt you. You’ll hurt him. One of you might lose the other. But it will also be so beautiful, the light of it so bright, it’ll outshine all of the dark.”
Tears pricked at my eyes. A longing burned deep in my chest. “I want that.” It was the first time I’d been able to truly admit that to myself since Cody had smashed my heart to smithereens. Bryce had seemed like a safe choice at the time, but he’d never made my heart take flight, my blood sing, my soul feel at peace. There was only one man who did that.
Grams smiled, the tip of her lips barely visible in the low light. “You’re going to have to hold on tight to that one because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Her gaze bore into mine. “But I promise you, it’ll be worth it.”
I just had to hold on.
33
Tuck
I groanedas my doorbell rang for a second time. I glanced at my phone. I had thirty minutes before my alarm was due to sound. Seeing as I’d tossed and turned for hours last night, I needed those extra thirty minutes. The bell rang again.
“Fuck.” I pushed out of bed, grabbing my tee from the floor and tightening the drawstring on my sweats. “I’m coming. Hold your horses.”
I pulled open the door, a scowl firmly in place, expecting to find Walker. Instead, I was greeted by my mother. Her hair was pulled back into a lifeless ponytail, and dark circles shone under her eyes. She was usually the picture of casually put-together, but today, she wore workout pants and a worn hoodie. “Can I come in?”
I swallowed down the riot of emotions ranging from anger to grief. “Of course.” I motioned for her to enter. My mom’s steps faltered as she caught sight of the hole in the wall, but she said nothing. “Do you mind if we move this to the kitchen? I’m in desperate need of coffee.”
