“I never saw his face,” she whispered. “Every man I meet, I wonder if it’s him.”
My eyes flared, my gut tightening. “You didn’t seem wary around me that first day. For the interview.”
Hallie’s hypnotic gaze lifted to mine. “You’re different. You saved me.”
10
HALLIE
My fingers ghostedover the massive SUV’s leather steering wheel. Everything about it was fancy. The screen in the dashboard with its eighty-two million controls. The spaciousness. The finishes.
It wasn’t that I’d never been in a nice car; my parents drove a BMW and a Porsche. It was just that it had been a while. Years. And the idea that I might do something to harm a high-end vehicle that Lawson had just paid his hard-earned money for made me sick to my stomach.
“What’s that look about?” he asked as he took me in from his spot in the passenger seat.
“What if I hurt your car?”
A laugh burst out of him. “Hallie. Don’t worry about the damn SUV. If you wreck it, I’ll get another one.”
I frowned in his direction. “Easy as that?”
He twisted in the seat so he fully faced me. “I’m not hurting for money. My dad had an outdoor company that he sold when I was in high school. It set us all up pretty well. I’m never going to be reckless or ridiculous with that money, but it does mean that I don’t have to worry about damage to a vehicle.”
Everything I learned about Lawson made me want to know more. He was this enticing mix of things I couldn’t quite pin down. Strong yet gentle. Protective yet able to let those around him find their way. Stoic yet laughed easily.
“You don’t have to work,” I surmised.
“No,” he admitted.
“So, why do you do it?”
Our parents always held Emerson’s and my trust funds over our heads like a carrot. They tried to use them to get us to do what they wanted. And I had for a long time. Not because of the money, but because I didn’t want to lose them. Until I finally realized that the quest to keep them was killing me.
Lawson swept his thumb back and forth across his knee. “I love my job. I like that I get to help people, try to keep them safe, and make my community a better place.”
My eyes burned. He was one of the good ones—someone who wanted to help just because he could. “You do. All of that.”
I knew because he’d been and done that for me. A blinking light of kindness on my darkest night.
His expression gentled, going soft in a way that made my insides flip. “Thank you. I try. Don’t always get it right, but I’ll neverstoptrying.”
“It’s all we can do.” I’d learned that the hard way. When you stopped trying, you stopped living.
A ding sounded, and Lawson pulled out his phone. “I need to head to the station. Will you be okay to get back to the house?”
I gripped the steering wheel and nodded. “Yes.”
My voice didn’t waver, and I was glad for it. I didn’t want Lawson to know that I was scared out of my mind.
He reached out as if he might squeeze my shoulder but then stopped himself.
The course correction was a knife to the gut. He’d halted because of what I’d said: that men made me nervous. I knew it wasn’t logical, not all men were evil, but it was just how my mind worked.
Anytime I met a man, a part of me wondered if he could be the one. Was he the person who’d kept me for thirty-three days? Was he the one who’d carved a kaleidoscope of scars into my flesh?
Even in the dealership just now, I’d pictured douchey Chip in that black balaclava, hovering over me, ready to inflict the maximum pain. Even when the body type and voice didn’t match, I could still see them as the man.
But never Lawson. He was the first male who wasn’t family that I’d felt comfortable with since the incident. Even in the hospital, they’d had to switch my care team to one entirely made up of females. Maybe that was why Lawson’s retreat hurt so much. But I didn’t blame him either.
