Caden started off, heading up the mountainside. The path was wide enough in this first part that we could walk side by side. We were mostly quiet at first, letting the late-summer breeze swirl around us.
I never felt pressure to talk around Caden. I could simply be. There was comfort in just having him beside me. But if I ever did want to give voice to anything, I could do it without fear of judgment. Caden was one of those people who saw all sides of something and knew that things were rarely black and white.
“She loved those,” Caden said quietly, inclining his head to the purple flowers mixed in with the other plants.
“They’re beautiful. What are they called again?”
“Lupine.”
For as privileged a life as Caden had led, he loved nature and consumed knowledge about it like a man starved. The only person who knew more than him was Roan. And that was probably because he spent more time with the mountains than he did with people.
I lifted my phone to take a picture, then jotted it down in my notes app.
“What was that for?” Caden asked.
I shrugged. “I want to remember it. Every time I see it now, it’ll remind me of Clara.”
Caden’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “It keeps her alive in a way. Every time we remember.”
I wanted to take his hand again, to give any sort of comfort I could, but I held back. “We won’t let her be forgotten. I promise.”
Caden nodded, clearing his throat. “How was SAR going?”
I got the message. He needed to think about something else and not let himself drown in the grief of today. “Mostly good... Lots of the team was there. My brothers were annoying. The usual.”
He chuckled. “What were they getting on you about today?”
I blew out a breath, fluttering wisps of my hair. “Rance Granger.”
Caden’s footsteps faltered the slightest bit. “What about him?”
“They think I have a crush on him.”
“Do you?” Strain wove around Caden’s voice.
“It wouldn’t matter if I did. They scare off anyone I want to go on a date with.”
Caden grunted. “Good. If your brothers can scare a guy away, he’s not worth your time anyway.”
“I’m never going to lose my virginity,” I mumbled.
Caden immediately started choking. “Shit, Gigi. Warn a guy before you say something like that.”
Annoyance flitted through me. “I’m almost sixteen, you know. Most girls my age have had boyfriends. I’m not a kid.” He was only a year older than me, and I knew he’d messed around with plenty of girls.
Caden halted on the path, looking down at me. “Trust me, Gigi. I know you’re not a kid. But you shouldn’t rush into that. It should be with someone you care about who cherishes that you’re sharing that part of yourself with him.”
“And did you wait? Was it special and cherished?”
Caden winced. “You know me. That’s not ever going to be something I look for.”
Pain lanced my chest. “Why?”
His gaze slipped from me. “It’s just not. Don’t want to go there.”
Caden hadn’t always been this way. When he was in middle school, he’d had girlfriends he took on dates and to dances. After Clara died, that had all stopped. There was nothing resembling commitment in his romantic life now.
“Can I have your water again?”
