The corner of his mouth kicked up. “I guess you’re right. Maybe I just wanted to see if someone cared enough to find me.”
I frowned. “A lot of people care. Nash. My parents—”
“But not my family.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “They didn’t say anything?”
Caden tipped his head back so he could stare at the sky. “My mom would’ve if she hadn’t taken a ridiculous number of pills and passed out. But my dad and Gabe are pretending like today is business as usual.”
I moved on instinct, slipping my hand into Caden’s and threading my fingers through his. “She was the best. One of the kindest people I’ve ever known. And so funny.”
Caden’s breath hitched, and he stared down at our joined hands. “She took care of everyone. Hell, the only time she raised her voice was if someone was about to kill a bug in the house. She’d insist on catching it and taking it outside.”
My heart squeezed. “That’s Clara in a nutshell.”
“I miss her so damn much.” Caden’s voice was raw, ravaged.
Of course, he missed her. It was his little sister. He loved her fiercely. Would’ve done anything for her. But he couldn’t stop cancer. It didn’t matter how many treatments they tried, she just got sicker and sicker until she left this Earth—two years ago today.
I squeezed his hand harder. “That just shows how much you loved her. She’s a part of you, and there’s no way youcan’tfeel her absence.”
Caden shifted his gaze to my face. “She branded me, and it sometimes feels like the wound is as fresh as the day it happened.”
My heart rate picked up speed at the intensity in his eyes. “I don’t think grief is linear. Some days are easier. Others will take you out at the knees.”
He looked back at the water. “Not everyone gets that. Some people just want me to be better. Who I was before.”
“But you’re never going to be that person again. This changed you.”
Caden’s gaze jerked back to me. “How do you get that when no one else seems to?”
I shrugged, not wanting to reveal the truth: that I watched Caden with a single-minded fascination. So, I’d seen the change. It had come on slowly and yet all at once. A darkness that hadn’t been there before. But it was a part of him, and I couldn’t help but love it the same way I loved the rest of him. It just made those glimmers of his light shine that much brighter.
Caden’s gaze tracked over my face, stilling on my lips. A second later, he forced his attention away and dropped my hand. “Want to hike with me?”
I tried not to let the disappointment land. For as often as Caden and I spent time together, he’d never made a move to take it further than that. I was used to living in disappointment. I pushed to my feet. “Sure.”
I slid my phone out of my pocket and shot off a text to my mom, letting her know what we were doing.
Caden glanced at me. “You got your pack?”
I winced. “I left it back at SAR training.”
He lifted his and swung it over his shoulder. “I should have us covered.”
“Can I steal some water?”
Caden handed me his bottle, and I took a long swig. “Geez. It’s lucky I brought two.”
I gave him a sheepish smile. “I was pushing the pedal to the metal over here.”
His brows pulled together. “You need to be careful; those ATVs can be dangerous.”
I rolled my eyes and handed him the water bottle. “I’ve already got four older brothers. I don’t need a fifth.”
Caden chuckled. “Noted. You want to take the north trail?”
I nodded. The views from that one were absolutely stunning. You could see the town nestled next to the lake and everything else for miles around.
