“Do you even remember what pussy looks like?”
“For the love of God, shut the fuck up, Geoff,” I roared with laughter.
“All jokes aside, did you manscape?” he asked, looking over the brim of his glass as he took a slow sip of his drink.
“Geoff, go home,” I groaned.
“What? A woman will suck your dick longer if she doesn’t have to pick pubes out of her teeth,” he shrugged then set his glass down.
“You do know the way you talk is not a social norm, right?”
“I’m not giving a public speech, Kian. I’m talking to you. My best friend.”
“Fair enough,” I admitted.
At least I could still take him out in public and he behaved. It just seemed like lately, anytime sex came up, he was an adolescent with raging hormones and no social filter.
"True. But you act like you never get laid. What the fuck?” I asked, standing up and making my way over to my dresser where my phone was.
“I just love sex,” he shrugged nonchalantly then grinned like an idiot. It was a grin daring me to ask him what he was thinking about. Truth be told, I was pretty sure I didn’t want to know. There was only one thing it could relate to and that was tonight– the virgin auction.
“Stop. I’m not going to bite on whatever you’re trying to lure me into,” I said, picking up my phone to check my messages.
“I’m so fucking proud of you,” he blurted, wiping away a fake tear.
“Asshole,” I muttered. “I said I didn’t want to know whatever you were thinking.”
“I know. That’s why I told you voluntarily.”
Geoff really was a pain in the ass at times. Yet, he was like a brother to me. We had known each other since practically birth. I couldn’t recall a time in my life when Geoff wasn’t around. When my mother died, it was Geoff whose arms I cried in. When my fiance’ up and left me a few years back, it was Geoff who threw me a giganticI’m Rid of the Bitchparty. He was always there. Just like now.
If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be minutes from climbing into a limo to a silent auction to bid on a virgin–
“I don’t know if I should thank you or tell you to fuck off for getting me into this,” I shook my head in disbelief then laughed.
“Getting you into what? An experience of a lifetime?” his eyebrow rose. “You should definitely be thanking me. I mean, I already offered to reimburse you if you don’t have a good time.”
“How many virgins have you hooked up with through the auction?”
Geoff held out his hand and counted up to four, but then continued counting on his other hand. My eyes widened with each digit he touched as a representation of the virgins he had bought.
“Holy fuck. That many?” I gasped in shock. “How the hell are you still able to afford your cars? I teased. Geoff stopped counting and rolled his eyes.
“One… business is good. Two… only five virgins.”
“Then why the hell did you keep counting?”
“To fuck with you,” he smirked, earning himthe birdfrom me. “I like virgins, but if I have them all the time, it will ruin the excitement of the chase.”
“The chase? You literally get blindfolded, taken to some mystery location, and then bid on the chick. How is that chasing?”
“You know what the hell I mean. It’s like ice cream. I love rocky road, but if I eat it all the time, it won’t taste as good.”
“You and your analogies,” I shook my head.
“You’re about to get you some damn good rocky road tonight!” he thrust his free hand into the air. “Fuck yeah!”
“You’re an absolute idiot, Geoff. An absolute fucking idiot.”
