Closing the door softly behind him, he pads across the space to me. Neither of us says a word, but my heart is beating so damn fast I’m certain he can hear it as he rounds my bed and wordlessly climbs in like he’s done this dozens of times before. Every inch of my skin tingles as he gets under the comforter and scoots closer.
“Hi,” he whispers. His intoxicating scent envelops me, easing the tension that was weighing me down only seconds ago. I allow myself a greedy moment to inhale it, to bask in his nearness.
“Hi.”
It’s still too dark to see him clearly, but with his proximity, I can tell he’s chewing on the inside of his cheek in the way he does when he’s nervous. Chest clenching, I roll onto my side to face him.
“Hope it’s okay that I’m in here.” His voice cracks with emotion.
“’Course, it’s okay,” I murmur, bringing my hand up to cup his cheeks. “What’s the matter?”
Ash leans into my touch, and that’s when I feel it…the moisture under my palm. “I’m sorry,” he rasps.
“You’ve got nothin’ to be sorry for, Ash. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
He’s quiet for a moment, only the sound of a shaky inhale of breath. “When I saw the smoke earlier, I thought something happened to you.” More tears fall from his eyes, and I move my hand from his cheek to the back of his neck, hauling him into me. He rests his head on my chest as his arm wraps around me. “I don’t know why my mind immediately went to you getting caught in whatever fire it was, but for the briefest of moments, it did, and the relief I felt when I saw you were okay nearly took me to my knees.”
I swallow against the lump in my throat as I hug him tight to my chest, breathing in the scent of his hair as I bury my nose in the dark strands. “The same thing went through my head too,” I croak. “The last I heard from you, you guys were going to the barn, and it’s the first thing I thought of.”
Lifting his head, Ash peers up at me, and despite the darkness blanketing the room, I can clearly make out the tears welling in his eyes. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” The words are spoken barely above a whisper, but they puncture my heart, nonetheless.
“Me too,” I husk, voice thick with the emotion swelling inside of me.
There’s a pause as we both gaze at one another before Ash breathes out a sigh and says, “I know what I said before, but I have to do this,” before his mouth crashes down on mine, effectively stealing my breath.
Chapter 26
Ash
Ishouldn’t be here.
Shouldn’t have my mouth pressed to Finn’s. Shouldn’t feel his thick, coarse scruff against my chin, his hand grasping the back of my neck like he’s attempting to anchor me to him. Shouldn’t feel like the weight pressing down on my chest all evening disappeared the minute I climbed into this bed and pulled up the covers that smell exactly like him.
My boss.
My twin sister’s ex-boyfriend.
The grumpy southern cowboy who’s never been with another man before.
I meant what I said, dammit. But as his tongue parts my lips and rolls against mine, I’m finding it hard to care about what I shouldn’t do or about the empty promises I told myself. None of it matters in comparison to the fear I felt clutching at my chest when I saw that smoke earlier. Sure, he’s okay and nobody got hurt, but for those few minutes, I had no way of knowing. Every awful, tragic thought passed through my mind in the blink of aneye as I held his son to my chest on the back of Bessie as she carried us toward the barn.
Shifting us until my back is pressed against the bed, Finn rolls on top of me, and the weight of his body against mine is everything I needed. It’s a weighted blanket that clears my mind. Brushing a lock of hair off my forehead, Finn gazes down at me, and even though it’s dark, I can easily make out the look in his eyes. Desire, but also adoration. It sends a shiver down my spine, goosebumps over my arms. My heart beats faster, harder, as I realize nobody has ever looked at me the way he is right now.
I don’t know what to do with that because I shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be looking at him the same way.
“Your eyes are beautiful,” Finn murmurs, thumb tracing along my cheekbone. The touch is featherlight, his tone tender. “I could stare into them all day and not be any less amazed by them.”
My throat is thick, my mouth dry as I swallow roughly. “I used to hate them,” I rasp, recalling the many times I begged my parents for colored contacts. “Hated how mine were two different colors, but everybody else in my family had normal eyes.”
“And now?”
Finn’s thumb is still gently moving around my face, like he’s trying to catalog my every feature to memory.
The way he’s touching and gazing at me is almost too much for me to handle. “I’ve grown to love them,” I reply, my voice small.
“They’re perfect.” Two simple words send my heart into overdrive. “They’re breathtaking and unique, like everything else about you.” The pad of his thumb brushes over my cheeks again. “Like these barely-there freckles, and the way they get darker in the sun.”
He brings his fingers down my lips next, tracing them. “Like these lips. The way they’re the perfect rosy shade, and how your bottom lip is slightly bigger than your top. It’s an irresistible natural pout.” Finn dips his head down, pressing his mouth to mine. It’s soft and unhurried. A declaration. My eyes sting, the tip of my nose burning, at the tender way he kisses me. Maybe, like me, he knows we shouldn’t be doing this. Maybe because of that, he’s savoring it.
