“Oh, where is she?”
“With Boone’s folks. They’re keeping her for the weekend.”
“Well, that’s fun,” I mutter. “But I actually called to talk to you, if that’s okay.”
Jade sets the purple towel down that she was in the middle of folding. “Oh, uh…yeah, that’s fine.” Grabbing the phone, she leaves the laundry room. I don’t quite know where she’s going until she sits down on the couch and the living room comes into view behind her. “So, what’s up?”
Suddenly, it feels like I could throw up. My stomach clenches, and there’s a lump in my throat, making it hard to swallow. I should’ve called her instead of doing FaceTime so I wouldn’t have to look at her for this. Why is it so hard?
“Jade, I hate this. Not talking to you and knowing you’re mad at me. I know I deserve it, what I did was fucked up, but I need you to know I never did it wanting to hurt you.”
Her eyes soften. “I know you didn’t.”
My brows pinch together. “You do?”
“Yes, Grady. You’re one of the most caring people I’ve ever known. You don’t have it in you to purposely hurt somebody, especially your family.” She pauses, taking a deep breath in, then out. “But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt me anyway. My divorce with Boone is still so fresh, and I always knew there would come a time when he’d move on—when we’d both move on—and I wanted that for him. He deserves it. But to find out it was my brother who he moved on with, and so soon…it stung, Grady. It really fucking hurt.”
Chest tight and aching, I try to blink away the pressure building behind my eyes. My vision blurs. “I’m sorry,” I croak.
Jade sniffles, biting the inside of her cheek. “I know Boone was faithful to me,” she goes on. “I’ve never once questioned that. He isn’t the type of man to cheat. He’s agoodman, and I know this. But I would be lying if I said all of this didn’t make me second guess myself, even if only for a second. It felt like shit not only finding out he moved on with you, but that I had to findout by catching you guys. Neither of you even felt like you could come to me and tell me. That’s probably what hurt the worst.”
Tears stream down my face, unable to hold it back. Ihatethis. Hate knowing I hurt her. Knowing I can’t take it back. Knowing that I can’t bring myself to walk away from Boone.
“Are you in love with him?” she asks softly. There’s no malice in her voice at the question. No anger.
A choked sob gets lodged in my throat, moisture continuing to spill out of my eyes. Jade’s face is red, eyes glassy too. The answer comes to me easily. It’s instant.Of course, I’m in love with him.But how can I say that? It feels like the moment I say it out loud, it’s done. She’ll write me off.
Unable to voice my truth, instead I say, “Jade, I can’t lose you. You are o-one of the m-most important p-people in my life. I cannot lose you.”
“Grady,” she breathes, a single tear falling down her cheek. “You’re never going to lose me. You’re my brother, and I love you so much.”
For some reason, that makes the sobs wrack through me harder. “Even if I’m in love with Boone?”
Jade wipes her face, her eyebrows knit together. “Grady, my love for you isn’t conditional. That’s not how this works. Yes, I’m hurt and, to be honest, I’m still pissed about it all, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. You’re my family, no matter what. Nothing changes that.”
Neither of us says anything for a moment. I soak in the reassurance she just gave me that I don’t even think she realizes I desperately needed.
“So, where do we go from here?” I ask after a moment.
Jade gives me a sad sort of smile. “I don’t know. I think I may just need some time to process it all. To come to terms with everything.”
“I can do that,” I murmur. “Give you space, that is.”
“I love you, Grady. I may be hurt, but that doesn’t change how much I love you.”
“I love you too.”
We hang up, and despite the fact that we are far from back to normal and okay, I feel lighter and more at ease than I’ve felt in a while. I don’t know what the future holds, but at least now I feel like there’s a chance that someday Jade and I can be back to what we used to be.
39
Boone Stanton
“This is so beautiful,” Grady murmurs, peering at the scenery and the horizon overlooking the cliff we found on the outskirts of the town we’ve been staying in.
All of us hit the road in the morning to the next stop, but I wanted to get away from our friends for the day and do something with just Grady, especially after the incredible night we shared two nights ago. He told me about the conversation he had with Jade after we went out to eat yesterday, and I’m filled with such hope now. Even though the situation isn’t ideal in any sense, knowing that we’re free to see where this goes for us feels really damn good.
It's ridiculously early in the morning, but Grady wanted to watch the sunrise from this spot. It’s apparently well-known for picturesque sunrises and sunsets. When he woke me up, it was still dark, and we’d only gone to bed a handful of hours prior, so to say I’m exhausted would be an understatement. Not to mention, we had to hike about three miles to get here, and youbet your ass I grumbled about it the entire time, but now that we’re here and the sun is beginning to make its appearance in the sky, I get it.
