“It’s nothing bad,” he hurries to say when I’m sure he can see the panic in my eyes. “At least, I don’t think. Obviously, I still live in Washington. This was supposed to be something temporary to help my aunt.” My stomach bottoms out, not wanting him to say what I think he might. “She’s getting stronger now, but I still think she needs help. She’s getting older, and it’s a lot to maintain everything. I need to head back to Washington ina couple of weeks to handle some things with the business. We’re wanting to buy out our investors and then open a second store. Bastian, my partner, has been on the hunt for the perfect location, and he thinks he may have found it, but I have to be there to deal with all the legal stuff, and get everything running.”
“So, you’re moving back home?”
How is that nothing bad?
“I’ll be back,” he says in a hurry. “I only plan to be there for as long as it takes to get this situated. A couple months, maybe. But then I’d like to come back to help my aunt. It’ll only be temporary.”
“You want to move here?”
“I don’t know. It’s a big move, but I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind. And I don’t want to freak you out and think I’m doing this because of you, because I’m not!” I chuckle at the rushed way he said that. “I’ve really fallen in love with this place, and knowing that my aunt probably needs help she’s too damn stubborn to ask for is a large reason for my consideration. And of course, there’s you too.” Even in the low light, I can see the red splashing his cheeks. “I’m not ready to walk away from you for good. Not without at least trying. And if we try and realize it doesn’t work out, then fine, but I’d rather know than always wonder. I’d just need you to know I’d be in Washington for at least the next month or so. But if you’re okay with continuing this while I’m there, then I am too.”
If we try and realize it doesn’t work…Why wouldn’t it work? I don’t know why my mind is so hung up on that part, but I internally shake my head of those thoughts, knowing I need to give him some sort of a formulated answer.
“When do you leave for Washington?”
“I haven’t bought the plane ticket yet, but probably in a week or so. I’m meeting with some guy on Monday to see about hiring him to help my aunt around the farm while I’m gone. She doesn’tknow I’m meeting him yet, but I want to make sure he’s a viable, competent option before I bring it up to her. So, once I have that squared away, I’ll book my ticket.”
“Well, tomorrow night, a couple of the guys are coming over to my place to watch the Copper Lake U playoff game. I’d love for you to come if you’re free.”
“What time?”
“The game starts at seven, but everyone will probably get there a few hours early.”
“Okay, I’ll come. It sounds fun.” He gives me a warm smile. “I have something to do with Whit in the afternoon, but I can come after.”
“Whit?” I ask, my brow arched. “As in the vet, Whit?”
Xander snorts. “Is there any other Whit?”
“No.” I laugh. “I just didn’t know you guys hung out.”
“We haven’t. Except the times I’ve been with you and he’s been there. But when he came to check out Aggie’s ankle, while you ran to the store to get the stuff for her bath, we got to talking about highland cows and how much I’ve grown to love them since being here. Whit ended up telling me about this farm on the outskirts of town that he occasionally makes house calls to that, I guess, has a whole herd of them. We swapped numbers, and he texted me this morning, telling me he has to go out there tomorrow and asked if I wanted to join.” He shrugs when he’s finished.
Why wasn’t I invited? I like cows. I’d like to see Xander’s excitement when he gets to hang out with a bunch of them.What the fuck, Whit?Although, I do love that he’s making friends—even better that they’re my friends too.
“That works out because Whit and his boyfriend are supposed to come, too.” There’s too much distance between us in this truck. It’s time to change that. “C’mere,” I tell him,opening my arm, indicating for him to scooch over. “Let’s cuddle.”
Rolling his eyes and breathing out a chuckle, he slides across the seat and into my arms. He fits perfectly, like he’s made to be there, and he lets out a contented sigh as soon as we’re wrapped up in each other, like it’s what he’s been waiting for and needing this whole time. I turn up the music a little, then pluck the beanie off his head, and after some argument with him about it, I nuzzle my nose into the hair on top of his head, breathing him in. His scent, his feel, his everything, calms me. I don’t even know how long we sit here like this, wrapped up in each other. After a while, we make out for a little bit, but for the most part, it’s just about the cuddling. The connection that seems to go so much deeper with him than sex.
At one point, we both doze off for a while. The heat on, the music playing softly, his head on my chest. I’d love to sleep with him like this all night again, but in a bed. The one time in Vegas was not enough. By the time I drop him off at his aunt’s, it’s after three, and I already cannot wait for tonight.
24
XANDER DAWSON
Note to self: Don’t stay out with hot cowboys until the early hours of the morning ever again. I clearly forgot that I’m no longer in college and that shit doesn’t fly anymore. Three cups of coffee later, I’m only half-zombie as I climb into Whit’s truck. No amount of exhaustion could keep me from doing what we’re about to do, though. The giddy feeling growing in my stomach reminds me of when I was a kid on Christmas morning. Glee and anticipation practically drip out of my pores.
“Morning,” I mutter as I buckle my seatbelt.
Eucalyptus and something sweet that I can’t place fill my nostrils. It smells nice, but different.
Shooting a glance over at Whit, he smiles, eyes squinting behind his thick-framed glasses. “Good morning. Excited?” he asks.
“Very.”
The few times I’ve been around Whit, he’s always given me hardcore grandpa vibes, which I know doesn’t totally make sense since he can’t be that much older than me. He’s always dressed in slacks and some type of nice cardigan or sweater thatI know if I touched would be soft as hell. He’s also the type people would say has an old soul. That term hasn’t always made sense to me, but as soon as I met him, I understood it.
It's freezing outside, having snowed overnight. The ground and trees are all coated in a thick layer of white, and the corners of the truck windows are all iced over. From everyone I’ve talked to about the weather—which arguably isn’t a lot, just my aunt and Cope—they say it’s been an unusually warm year. We’re approaching Christmas next week, and last night was the first real snow of the season.
