Smiling as I imagine him lying in bed, thinking of me, I thumb out a response as flutters swirl around in my stomach.
Me: Me either. I’m on episode who knows what of this dumb Netflix show.
Cope: I’m watching TV too, but it’s not holding my attention.
Me: Same. *eye rolling emoji*
Cope: Wanna go for a ride with me?
Me: What? It’s after midnight.
Cope: I know. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I like to hop in the truck and drive. It helps settle my mind.
My heart slams against my ribs as I consider his offer. It’s late, but itisthe perfect opportunity to talk to him about everything like I’ve wanted to do. Not to mention, I’d get to see him. Which that, in and of itself, is worth climbing out of bed in the middle of the night.
It’s a no-brainer.
Me: Sure. I can walk over to your place. Give me five minutes, and I’ll head out.
Cope: Nah, I’ll drive over there. It’s cold out, I don’t want you walking.
Something that small shouldn’t make my chest tighten, but it does. It’s thoughtful without even trying to be. Gentlemanly.
Me: Sounds good.
Climbing out of bed, I don’t bother changing. I’m sure he’ll be in sleep clothes too. After I grab a beanie and my jacket out of the closet, I send a quick text to my aunt in case she wakes up, so she knows where I’m at, and then I head out front where his truck is already waiting for me.
Nerves have me feeling like I could hurl. Lord help me, I’m so gone for this man.
23
COPE MURPHY
The entire cab of my truck smells like him. It’s intoxicating. My hand resting on the gear shifter itches to reach over and hold his. Lace our fingers together. Feel his skin on mine again. But I don’t know if that would feel too intimate for Xander. I don’t know what all of this means to him yet—although, I’m hoping we clear that up tonight—so I don’t. It’s below freezing outside. It hasn’t snowed, but it looks like it may. The heat’s blasting as we drive aimlessly down an empty backroad.
Music plays through the speakers softly, and despite the frigid air, I have the window rolled down about an inch. The heat counteracts the cold air, but I love the freshness of it hitting my face when I drive. I’m doing my best to keep my eyes trained on the road, when all I really want to do is turn to face Xander and drink him in. He’s in a pair of dark green, white, and black plaid pajama pants. His black jacket isn’t puffy, but I can tell it keeps him warm. He has it zipped all the way up to his throat, and he’s wearing a lime green beanie on his head with some logo on it. If I had to guess, I’d say it was his store’s logo. His messy black curlsdip down underneath the hat, hanging over his brows, making him appear younger than he is.
We haven’t seen each other much since Vegas, so having him in my truck right now, all to myself, is more exciting than it should be.
In my periphery, I watch him glance over at me. “Where are we going?” he asks, voice quiet.
“Nowhere in particular.” I allow myself to look over at him, just for a moment, before returning my gaze to the dark road, lit up only by my headlights. “On nights like this, I don’t normally have a destination. I just drive, letting my mind clear.”
“What’s on your mind tonight?”
“Well, full honesty…” I glance over, meeting his gaze. “You are.”
He smiles. “What about me?”
“My mind keeps replaying Vegas, and what it all means.”
Xander’s quiet for a moment. My heart kicks up a notch at his silence. Shit, what if he’s not wanting to talk about that? What if it didn’t mean anything to him? I know I’ve never explored anything with a man before, but with women, I can usually tell if they’re into me. The signs surely are the same no matter the gender, and I could’ve sworn I got more than just hook-up vibes from him. I guess I could be wrong.
Finally, he says, “I’ve thought about it a lot, too.”
Letting out the breath I’d been holding, I grip the gear shifter tighter, fighting the smile trying to show on my face. “Glad it’s not just me, then.”
Turning off the road, I pull into an abandoned church, leaving the car on but putting it in park. I lower the volume on the music a little, turning to face Xander.
