“What was that?” Segan asks, quickly scooting to the edge of the truck bed, jumping off.
“I don’t know.” I’m rattled. Heart racing so fast, I’m sure it’s about to leave my chest cavity. “Let’s go check it out.”
Segan leads us through the field to where everyone is hanging out. There’s a bonfire that looks minutes away from dying, with a group of people standing in a circle to the right of it.
“Oh, fuck,” he spits out. “It’s Lana.” His jog turns into a sprint, and I follow, my heart pounding, guilt swarming me at what just happened.
What the hell did we do?
* * *
The doorto the waiting room opens, my eyes connecting with Chevy—orDr. Bakeras he is right now. “Josiah,” he murmurs before glancing to my right. “Segan.”
“How is she?” I ask, not wanting to deal with any of the pleasantries.
He nods. “She’ll be fine with some IV fluids and some rest. Do you know how much she had to drink tonight?”
Chevy and I both turn our attention to Segan. He looks like shit—bags under his eyes, his hair all over the place, and he’s worrying his bottom lip so much, it’s about to crack and bleed.
“I can guess,” he mumbles, eyes flitting to mine, the same guilt I’m feeling plastered on his face. “But, uh, I wasn’t around her the whole night.” Clearing his throat, he adds, “It’s her birthday. She was celebrating, and I guess she took it a little too hard. But she’s for sure going to be okay?”
“Yes, she will,” Chevy assures him. “But she needs to take it easy. She’s a small girl. It doesn’t take much for a little fun to turn into too much. I would hate to see her end up back in here.”
Chevy takes us back to see her, and I can’t help but feel responsible for this. Had I done what I should’ve done from the beginning, and told Segan I wouldn’t come meet him at the fields, maybe he would’ve been able to keep a closer eye on her, and this never would’ve happened.
I don’t get what’s going on with Lana. She’s sinking, and I don’t know how to help.
Well,notgiving her boyfriend a back massage, and then making out with him, would be a good start, dipshit.
Segan and I don’t speak for the rest of the night. We both sit on either side of Lana as she sleeps, and once she finally wakes up, and I’m able to hear her communicate that she’s okay, I leave without more than a head nod in his direction.
Both of us need to focus on Lana, and making sure she doesn’t get any worse. This… situation, whatever the hell it is, that I’m in with Segan has got to stop.
8
SEGAN
Josiah: Can you meet me behind the old Baker’s barn in twenty?
The text lights up my dark bedroom, and a quick peek at the time tells me it’s late. After ten on a weeknight. My stomach flutters as I glance to my right, taking in the sight of a sleeping Lana before typing out a response, telling him I can meet up. Throwing on a hoodie, some sweats, and my old, worn tennis shoes, I slip out of the house as quietly as possible. The last thing I need is Lana waking up and grilling me about where I’m going.
Things between us have been rocky, to say the least. She’s been keeping secrets for quite a while. Even more so since she got out of the hospital after getting alcohol poisoning on her birthday a few weeks ago. But then again, I’m also keeping secrets of my own.
I think she’s also been cheating on me… but again, I kind of have been too. Sure, Josiah and I have only kissed, and only that one time, but the way I feel about him—and have for a while now—is so far past appropriate for someone being in a relationship, it’s not even funny.
I want to break up with Lana, that much I’ve admitted to myself, but I don’t know how. Aside from the lying and the cheating, she’s clearly falling off the deep end. She isn’t the same girl anymore, and everyone can see it. She’s jumpy and fidgety most days, her temper is out of control, and she looks so worn down.
She’s almost unrecognizable. I found an old picture we took together right before her sixteenth birthday, and the difference between the girl asleep in my bed right now and the girl in that photo is scary. I think she’s doing drugs, and it isn’t the weed and occasional pills. No, I think it’s something harder, but every time I’ve tried to get her to open up to me, she refuses.
We used to tell each other everything, and now I feel like we don’t even know one another. How the hell did we get so far away from where we were?
As much as I want to break up with her, I’m also terrified that if I do, it’ll be her death sentence. It’s like I’m staying with her to simply help keep her alive, and it’s killing me in the process. It’s exhausting, and I don’t want to do it anymore.
And worse than that, I want to be with Josiah, but I don’t think that can ever happen. He’s her uncle, and I’m her boyfriend. It’s so fucked up.
It’s crazy how much of a crutch he’s become to me over the last year. He’s always there when I need him. Always. And the connection we share is unlike anything I’ve experienced before.
Though, after the kiss and what happened with Lana, we’ve barely spoken. A few generic texts here and there, but we haven’t hung out at all. I hate admitting how relieved I was seeing his text come through just now.
