Feeling satisfied with what I’ve gotten done for Dr. Weaver, I shove the journal I was writing in back into the drawer, and start setting shit up. Nerves dance inside my belly, hands trembling enough to be noticeable. Cas is fucked up, and all I want is to help him get outside of his head and make him feel better. The desperation I feel to make this happen is a hand to the throat.
Squaring my shoulders and giving my hands a good shake, I leave my room and go knock on Caspian’s door, praying like hell he answers. The blood whooshing in my ears echoes inside my head, becoming deafening as the seconds tick by. Perspiration lines my brows and the back of my neck, despite being cold.
Fuck, get it together, Rowan.
After what feels like an eternity, the door finally opens. Cas is in a pair of athletic shorts and nothing else, and his hair looks like his finger was shoved into a light socket. He clearly just woke up.
“What, Rowan?” He sounds so exasperated, which only heightens my fear that I’m the problem.
But instead of dwelling on that and cowering away, I shove it down and ask, “Can you help me with something in my room real fast?”
“With what?” The rasp to his voice that comes from sleep does things to me, as does the way he lazily drags a hand through his unruly dark hair.
“Um…”Shit, didn’t think this through.“I accidentally shoved something back on the top shelf in the bathroom, and I can’t reach it. You’re taller than me.”
It’s a ridiculous lie. He’s taller than me by, like,maybetwo inches. If that. Whether he thinks I’m full of shit or not, I’m not sure, but he rolls his eyes, gesturing in front of him with his hand. “Well, let’s fucking go, then.
Yes! Got him.
Pressing the wristband to the reader, it flashes green, and the door unlocks. My hand is trembling as I reach for the knob, and I pray Caspian doesn’t notice.How embarrassing.Lavender and vanilla are strong in the air as we enter the room, and music plays softly from my phone on the dresser. Once I hear the door click shut, I turn to face him.
Eyes wandering around the room, confusion is written all over his features. “What’s all this?”
His eyes drag back to me, and I swallow hard under the weight of his gaze.Here goes nothing.First, I grab the bag I got from the gift shop type store earlier. Before handing it to him, I say, “So, this may be really lame, but try not to laugh in my face, okay?”
I say it in a light and funny tone, but the truth behind the request hits me like a ton of bricks.
Caspian takes the bag, but he doesn’t open it. He looks up at me, somehow knowing I have more to say.
“I can tell you’re going through a hard time right now. I respect you not wanting to talk about it; we barely know each other, and while I hope to change that really soon, I get not wanting to open up to me.” My hands open and close into fists at my sides. Something he, of course, notices. “I wanted to do something that could possibly cheer you up or make you feel a little less down, but I don’t really know what you like when you need comforting, so I had to guess and go with what I would like if it were me.”
His jaw flexes as he grinds down on his molars, Adam’s apple rolling in his throat.
“Open it,” I say, barely above a whisper, my heart thrashing behind my ribs.
CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE
Caspian
What in the fuck is happening right now?
One minute, I’m lying in bed, half asleep, and the next, I’m standing in Rowan’s bedroom with a plastic bag in my hand, his mossy green eyes on me expectantly, and a pit in my stomach the size of Mars as he tells me he wants to try to make me feel better.
Nobody has ever said that to me before.
“Cas…” He chuckles, but it’s stiff. I can tell he’s nervous, which makes me nervous. “Will you open it already?”
I don’t want to.I don’t want to open the bag or find out what else he has in store for me, because the gnawing feeling in my gut tells me that whatever it is will change everything.
My throat feels so tight, it aches, and my hands are trembling just like his were when we came in here.
I’m terrified.
I don’t even remember feeling this anxious when I was arrested for that chick’s death before Black Diamond.
There’s no way I can stall any longer. Glancing down at the white plastic bag in my hand, I drag a cautious hand through my hair before pulling the handles open. Whatever it is, is wrapped in aqua blue tissue paper, and as my hand goes to pull it out, his voice has me pausing.
“Okay, so this part may be stupid, but I didn’t have much to work with, with us being on an island and all.” He offers me another shaky chuckle. “This isn’t the only thing I have planned, but uh, I hope you like it.” The whole sentence comes out as more of one long, fast spoken word than anything else.
