He sits on the edge of my bed, a bottle of red Gatorade in his hands. “Where’d you run off to last night?”
“It was no—”
“Bodhi,” he groans, cutting me off. “Fuck, can you for oncepleasenot bullshit me? Please don’t say it’s nothing or give me some bullshit excuse. Please—for once—be straight with me.”
His hard tone surprises me. He’s normally a soft-spoken guy who never seems to get irritated by much. So much so, that I don’t even think about giving him a lie.
“It was Jules. I left to go to Jules’s because he said he needed me.”
“Needed you for what, exactly?”
This time, Idoconsider lying. It comes so naturally to me, to lie about everything. Lie about what I ate today, or if I’m feeling alright. Lie about what I do for a living. But I can’t… not to Elias. Not anymore. I need to get this all off my chest, and I trust him.
So, I dive in. Telling him everything about me and Jules. About Ryan, about high school, losing my virginity to him, about Jules and Lorelei, about the ‘I love you.’ Everything.
“Damn,” he huffs out when I finish. “That is way more than I could’ve imagined. Why have you kept this all to yourself?”
“E, in the years we’ve known each other, have Ieverbeen one to be forthcoming with shit I’ve got going on?”
He laughs. “Touché. But fuck, I thought it was just Camden. Everybody’s got daddies showing up for them except me.”
The dramatic pout on his lip would make me laugh if I wasn’t so dejected.
“But on a serious note,” he continues, “I don’t have any real advice except to—”
Elias is cut off mid-sentence by a pounding on my door. We look at each other, confused, before I say, “Uh, come in.”
My heart lurches into my throat when the door opens, none other than Jules coming into view.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I blurt out, feeling Elias’s wide eyes on me.
“I’m here, Bodhi, because you’re always fucking running away.”
Elias slides off the bed. “Um, I’m gonna go.”
Jules barely moves out of the way enough for him to slither out before he’s slamming the door behind him. “I am about sick to death of you putting up a wall between us.”
“Yeah, well, I’m getting sick to death of you acting like this is anything more than it is, Jules!”
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m a fucking escort, Jules. I fuck men for money. You are a powerful, wealthy judge. You could have anybody you fucking want. It is only a matter of time before you get sick of me. This”—I indicate between us—“is not going to last forever. It never does.”
“Goddamnit, Bodhi!” He slams his fist down on my dresser beside him, making me jolt. “You’re fuckinginfuriating.”
“So are you,” I murmur.
“Why can’t you see it?”
Letting out a heavy sigh, I ask, “See what, Jules?”
“See how fucking incredible you are.” He crosses the room until he’s standing in front of where I’m sitting on the bed. I stand, too, to avoid having to crank my neckthatmuch to see him. “You are the most beautiful person, and you talk about yourself like you’re nothing special. Quit running from me, Bodhi. Please.”
The pressure behind my eyes is too much. My throat aches, and I can’t breathe. All the air has been sucked out of the room, and I’m left floundering before this exquisite man. It’s too fucking much.
Jules,” I croak. “It will never work. Trust me. You are better than this. You deserve more than this. I think it would be best if we stopped all of this. We can be—”
Jules growls, “I swear to God, Bodhi, if you say—” at the same time I whisper, “Friends.”
