“After all this time apart, you can at least hug me or act like you know me.”
I throw my arms around his middle. He squeezes me so tight I can hardly breathe. Even though I haven’t had a second to think about missing him, he sure as hell did me. Now, I feel even guiltier about forgetting him, pushing him to the back of my mind, to the dark recess where I store things I want to ignore.
“I made my decision,” I whisper as he releases his hold. “I can’t accept your proposal, Corey.”
The darkness does nothing to conceal his disappointment. A cross between a scowl and a frown marks his handsome face. “Why not, Jemma? We’ve been together since we were fourteen.” His fingers dig into my hip. “You love me. I love you. What’s the problem? Everything was perfect with us. What happened?”
“Something inside me snapped when you asked me to marry you. I felt like I hadn’t experienced life without you. I had never even left Lancaster except for the few vacations I’d taken with my family.”
“So,” he challenges. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“It’s not that easy for me, Cor.” I place my hand on his shoulder while staring into his eyes, the nerves finally subsiding. “I don’t know what I want yet. I’m not ready to settle down and have a family. We’re too young. Maybe five years from now?—”
“Five years,” he interrupts. “C’mon, Jemmy, we don’t need another five years to begin our future.” Corey moves his hand to my cheek and strokes it with his calloused thumb, sparking an intense prick of electricity that skates all my skin. “I knew I wanted to marry you when we were kids when I made you a ring from pieces of hay I tied together. You were my best friend… you are my best friend. You’re my entire world.”
“Maybe that’s the problem,” I admit. “We’ve been everything to each other for so long, we don’t even know what it’s like to be alone. Now that I’ve had the chance to explore new things, I don’t want to give it all up. Not yet.”
“Do you expect me to wait forever?”
His tone darkens along with his features.
I shake my head.
Corey peels his hand from my face and leans back against the stall opposite me, unable to meet my gaze. His eyes fall to the hay-strewn ground as he shoves his hands into his jean pockets and sighs.
“I’m sorry, Corey. I know I’m a horrible person for putting you through this.”
He looks up at me with a hint of a smile on his lips. “You’re the best person I know, Jemma. There’s not an evil bone in your body.”
“Then, why do I feel like shit?”
“Because breakups are hard.”
“For what it’s worth, I still care about you, Corey. We might not be together, but some things will never fade. You will always be my friend. I hope you still want to be mine.”
“I’d rather have you as my friend than nothing.”
Chapter Twenty
Jemma
I can’t stand another second of singing. The girls in the chapter house are belting out the Kappa Delta song. Their voices are giving me a headache. My skull pounds from the girls next to me, screaming in my ear as they work on designing shirts for the charity event.
One thing I’ve learned about sorority girls is they not only wear sparkly shirts with Greek letters on them, but they also like to design them. I’m a minimalist, never one to care about what I’m wearing or how much flare is on my clothes. But not my sisters. They take this whole sorority thing to another level.
When the song ends, they start again, and I want to bash my brains out. I glance over at Jordan, who’s holding up the shirt she’s just finished and admiring her work. She smiles at the tee and catches me glaring at her from across the table. My older sister knows me well enough to see the boredom written on my face.
Jordan sets the shirt on the dining room table and tilts her head toward the kitchen. I push out my chair and follow behind her. The kitchen is empty, the marble counter at the center of the room full of various trays of cookies.
Jordan lifts a cookie from a plate and offers it to me. “You okay, sis?”
I bite into the cookie. “Yeah, I guess. This stuff doesn’t interest me.”
“Even when we were kids, you always had to rip the heads off the Barbie dolls or roll around in the mud and ruin your clothes.” She cups my shoulder with her hand. “I’m proud of you.” Jordan smiles as she says this.
“I didn’t think you would get through the pledging process. I was so sure you’d give up after the first task we gave you, but you handled yourself perfectly, and even though you don’t like baking, decorating, or hosting events, you’re a Kappa Delta now. And I couldn’t be happier.”
“Thanks.” I swallow the last bit of the cookie and smile. “I wish I was in a better mood. But it hasn’t been the same since I returned to school.”
