“If you’re trying to start shit, De Ruiter, you’ve picked the wrong guy.”
“That a fact?”
“Yeah, that is a fact. And I know what you’re going to tell me. You know what? I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to talk to you. I’m done with this shit. Out of my way.”
When I tried to step out the door, I felt Erik’s hand on my shoulder. I tensed up and felt hot all over. Normally, I would’ve nailed anyone who’d touched me that way. That was how I’d lost my cool a lot of times. It wasn’t just him touching me, but he’d done it after I’d already told him I was leaving.
“Get your hands off me, Erik.”
He didn’t listen.
“I wouldn’t have to touch you if you’d stop and listen to reason for a minute.”
“Listen to reason? What you told me yesterday was total bullshit.”
I wanted to believe that in the worst way. If I kept telling myself that, I would believe it. No matter what, I would admit nothing.
“You’re scared,” he said.
“What?”
“I said you’re scared, dude. Clean out your ears.”
He’d said that to me before. I couldn’t let him get away with calling me that again.
“You take that back, bro,” I said.
“Or what? Gonna do something to me?”
“Not if you do what I tell you. Now, take that back.”
“Take what back? That you’re scared? No way, dude. I’m just telling the truth.”
I shoved him. Don’t blame me for that one either. He totally had it coming. Here’s the problem: Shoving Erik meant my hands made contact with his chest, allowing me to feel the firm muscle under his shirt. No one could stay in charge after feeling him like that. In the seconds that followed, I stared into those eyes again and felt weak.
But it gets worse: He shoved me back. Feeling his strong hands slam against my chest triggered so many of the same feelings. You know that saying about upsetting the apple cart? That applied perfectly here. We’d stood on shaky ground to begin with, and a shoving match would cause disaster.
My eyes stayed fixed on his. I shoved him again, feeling his firm muscles for the second time. I would’ve given anything to experience his touch for the third time. If I did, God knew what would happen.
Erik didn’t shove me back. I didn’t strike again. We stood frozen for a moment, staring deep into each other’s eyes, losing ourselves. All at once, everything I’d held back burst free, like a deluge crushing a dam.
We fell into each other’s arms for the second time, our tongues instantly inside each other’s mouths. This time, we pawed at each other like animals. We didn’t break away from the kiss after a few seconds, terrified by our actions. We reveled in the moment, soaking up the heat and passion. He cupped the back of my head, pushing me deeper into the kiss, and I combed my fingers through his hair.
And I felt his hard-on pressed against my leg.
Oh my fucking God. It was the real thing. I’d excited Erik De Ruiter so much that his member felt rock hard poking against my leg. Worse, I felt tingles below my waist and found my own hard-on straining against my jeans.
I couldn’t remember getting hard the first time we’d kissed. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I’d been caught up in the moment and couldn’t recall for sure. Erik had exercised the same power over me that I had over him. I couldn’t deny that I felt totally aroused. I also couldn’t deny my boxer briefs felt wet.
I didn’t have to admit that last part to Erik, but I knew it for myself, which felt bad enough. That meant my arousal was no accident.
Our lips did break apart, but we didn’t push away from each other like last time. We both panted. I kissed Erik’s cheek, feeling his scratchy beard on my lips, and planted kisses down his neck. His head thrust back and he groaned, which told me I now had him right where I wanted him.
Someone could walk in and see us. That warning called out from the back of my mind but not enough to make me stop. I pulled his shirt out of his pants, ready to lift it over his head because that was the natural next step.
Then I stopped, peeling myself off Erik, whose eyes stayed fixed on me, hungry. I felt totally ravenous too.
When we fell back into each other’s arms, kissing deeply, I knew I couldn’t allow myself to give in. I had to do something, so I pushed myself away, but not hard.
