I cocked an eyebrow at him. That wasn’t true. As team captain, I had to care about everyone on my team. That meant ensuring injured players recuperated properly. If Erik hung around practice too much—especially to argue about dumb shit with me—then he would never recover in time for the season opener.
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“You’re being stubborn…as usual. And now you won’t even look at me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want you here,” I said.
“Then what is it?”
“Look, there’s no point to this conversation. I’m just going to get back to practice, bro. Thanks for stopping by.”
“Okay, now you’re avoiding me completely.”
I wanted to respond in the worst way but choked the words back. Nothing I said would make a difference to this kid. No point in answering. But there was more to it. Of course there was. Deep down, I didn’t want him there, and not just because he was a Canadian farm boy who didn’t know his role.
If Erik stayed, I would never keep my eyes off him. Little things about him would distract me. The more I noticed those little things, the more preoccupied I would become. The more preoccupied I became, the better chance I would have of going insane. Insanity meant flushing my hockey season down the toilet, but I would have to confront things I’d never expected to face.
Like right now. I found it next to impossible not to stare into his eyes.
See what I mean?
I strapped my helmet on again, ready to continue practice, but Erik kept yapping like the conversation would end on his terms.
“You still haven’t answered my question,” he said.
“What question is that?”
“The one about why you came to the hospital.”
“I already told you why. It’s nothing personal. It’s just what a good teammate does.”
“That’s crap, Kayden, and you know it.”
“How do you figure?”
“Because you were the only one to show up. The coach didn’t come, but he called. I got texts from Ryan Detenbeck and a few other guys, making sure I was okay. But you were the only one to show up in person. Are you saying everyone else is a bad teammate?”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, bro.”
“I’m not putting words in your mouth. I’m just asking a question.”
I can’t lie. Erik had backed me into a corner, and I couldn’t escape without turning seriously ugly. I couldn’t let that happen because I was still on Coach Hardison’s shit list and wasn’t kidding about injured players needing rest.
Several teammates zipped past me, and I turned my back to them, wanting to hide my conversation with Erik. Paranoid, I know. I didn’t care. I wanted out of this conversation in the worst way. I had to prove to myself that there had been nothing to my hospital visit…or the glances I’d stolen.
“Your lock is still on my locker,” I said.
“So?”
“So? Dude, we’ve been through this a hundred thousand times now. I know you need time to recover from your little bump on the head, but?—”
“Would you quit calling it a little bump on the head? It was a lot worse than that, and you know it.”
“Excuses, excuses. You’ve had all the time in the world to get your lock off my locker and your shit out of there.”
The skin between Erik’s eyebrows bunched together. Looked like I’d pissed off Mister Cool for the first time.
Like I said, I had to do something, and changing the subject wouldn’t cut it. He’d obviously misunderstood my reason for coming to the hospital. No matter what I said, he would insist that there was more to it. Just so you know, I’m not the only stubborn one here.
