“His entire life has been dedicated to Zosia!”
“I’m sorry, Sunshine. It seems like he has other priorities now.”
I hate Tovian’s gentleness. His reasonableness. I want to scream and throw things. Throw up. When I touch my cheeks my fingertips come away wet. I sniffle.
“If it’s any consolation, he’s determined to get the invaders out of Auralia. Won’t stop until they’re gone. His rationale for not going to the castle is that if Zosia and her father are in there, they have plenty of food. They’re safe. They can’t get out, but nothing can get in, either. Not with the Sentinels swarming the ruins of The Walled City.”
I sit with this information, digesting it slowly. If I contort, I can sort of see his logic. Not that I agree with it. People need to know their living goddess yet lives. If she’s gone, the country will fall. Fatalism is baked into our culture. If the royal line has fallen, then we’re fucked. People don’t want to fight if there’s no hope of winning.
That is why she’s so important. All-important.
Yet he’s forgotten her.
“Are you still there?” Tovian prompts.
“Yeah. Sorry. I’m just trying to take this in.”
“He’s a brilliant strategist, Sunshine.”
“He learned from the best.” Cata, whose bones now lie on a field in Central Auralia, awaiting a time when her remains can be properly memorialized, like so many others.
“Lorcan is doing what he thinks is best for the country,” Tovian says gently.
“He’s doing it for himself,” I seethe. “He’s doing it for glory. He loves being a hero.”
There it is. The dark side of Lorcan I never wanted to acknowledge. He’s always been ambitious. He took risk after risk to get himself appointed as Zosia’s personal guard. Beneath that placid façade is a ruthless streak a mile wide and just as deep.
He wanted Zosia because he wanted to be king.
I feel sick.
Cata knew. She approved. She would; the Covari are all about fighting for the royal family. What better king than the one who can best protect the future queen’s life?
Now, the mask has fallen off. I feel unmoored. I want to see the change in Lorcan with my own eyes.
I can’t. Not right away, at least. I have work to do here at River Bend. It’s not safe to travel, even with a regiment of guards, none of whom could be spared from the frontline anyway.
Until Lorcan decides to head north, or eradicates the invaders, I won’t be going anywhere.
It’s now a question of how quickly Lorcan blaze his way to Oceanside—and how many invaders he can kill along the way.
I’m the one who sent Tovian into this mess, too. Guilt curdles sourly in my gut.
What have we wrought?
#
After the tense discussion with Tovian, I decide the best way to maintain peace is to keep treating Lorcan like an old friend and prodding gently wherever I can. I have to remember he’s badly injured and still recovering.
“Do you remember the time we were in Scotland together and the five of us went to a movie theater?”
A beat of silence passes. I hold my breath.
“The huge screen with rows of seats? Exit sign at the front that led into an alleyway used for trash disposal?”
I grin, though he can’t see me. He checked out the theater thoroughly before we were allowed to purchase tickets—or rather, before we were permitted to bring Zosia along with us. Lorcan and Cata always knew how to get out of a bad situation. They planned ahead for every possible outcome.
Unfortunately, that meant Zosia was never free to mingle or socialize like a regular person. I could, and did, to some extent. Kenton explored to his heart’s content. Bashir took to life in the outside world like a fish to water. He loved everything about it. Especially the marijuana. Total pothead. I don’t think he would have come home if we all hadn’t been hustled onto a plane the night the pirates attacked.
