“How will I know what he looks like?”
“I’ll text you a picture.”
We disconnect. I immediately texted Lorcan a picture of me and Tovian together. Did I select the one that makes me look like a movie star? Yes. Did I think long and hard about why I chose that particular image? No, I did not. Nor was I going to.
I desperately wanted some aspect of my life to feel normal again.
A few days later, Tovian called me.
“So…what do you think of Lorcan?” I ask nervously.
“He isn’t what I expected.”
My stomach drops. “How? In what way?”
There’s a long pause, as if Tovian is trying to find the most tactful way to say,I don’t like your friend.
“He’s very reserved.”
Relief floods through me. “Yeah, he’s always been like that. He does not show emotions.”
“Okay, I guess that’s normal for him, then.” Another long pause. “He’s a talented fighter. I’ve never seen anyone move as fast or hit as hard as he does.”
“Yep! That’s him,” I chirp brightly. Good. He hasn’t changed as much as I thought he had.
“I get the sense that he’s, um…angry.”
“At me?”
“No, Sunshine. At the world. I don’t want to speak ill of him. But he’s doing things I can’t really condone.”
“I know burning a building full of people is cruel, but he was outmatched. He’s doing that to protect us.”
“It’s not the…Never mind. I guess I was a little surprised by how cold and angry he is. It like he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies.”
“Does he ever talk about Zosia?” My voice cracks on her name.
“No.”
“No? Not ever?”
“Only when people ask about her. He just seems annoyed by their questions.”
I fall silent, trying to take it in.
“I don’t mean to disparage your friend, Sunshine, but he seems to have a chip on his shoulder.”
“You don’t like him,” I state flatly.
“I do, actually. It’s pretty obvious he’s going through something.” Tovian sucks in a breath like he was steeling himself to tell me bad news. “He hates Zosia.”
Stunned, I switch the phone to my other ear.
“No. That can’t be right. She’s the one who hates him. Or did. He loves her. He promised he would always come for her!”
Panic froths inside me.
He’s forgotten her. Forgotten what they were to one another. No wonder he’s resisted my pleas to go to the castle and find her.
