Chapter Twenty-One
Luke
The truth slips from my lips so quickly, and now all I can do is stare at Olivia as I wait for her to reply. She stiffens, her gaze trained on her lap. I want to admit everything to her, to discuss what really happened in the past, so I can reassure her that we’ll be okay.
However, I need to take this slow. I need to ease into that conversation so it doesn’t send her running away from me. Whatever this is becoming, I want to protect it.
“I’m in love with you too,” she finally says, and I exhale with relief.
For a second, I can’t move. The words hit me harder than I expected. Olivia lovesme. Not just as a friend. The truth settles in my chest, feeling almost too big to hold. I want to reach for her, to say a thousand things at once, but she’s still watching me like she’s not sure what happens next. Like this could still fall apart.
“Everything is going to be okay,” I promise.
She smiles up at me, dipping her chin in a nod, but I can tellthat she’s holding something back. As I watch twin splotches of pink appear in her cheeks, her eyes darting away from mine, I decide to not press it.
Olivia’s lips are still swollen from the kiss, her breathing a little uneven, her body still trying to catch up, except for her eyes, which are somewhere else, not in this moment. I see how her shoulders become tense, the way she forces a breath and tries to make it sound natural, as if she’s trying to appear like everything is fine, but I know her. I’ve known her long enough to recognize when she’s internally panicking.
The worst part is that she’s scared of what comes next. I want to reassure her and say something that’ll make this better, but I’m scared to push too hard. I pray that she believes me when I say that everything will be okay—even if I’m terrified of the same things as her.
During the rest of the ride, I don’t reach for her hand, and she doesn’t reach for mine. The carriage comes to a stop in front of Nonni’s house, and Ivan hops down to come help both me and Olivia down. Before shaking his hand goodbye, I slip him a tip and wish him a happy holiday before we’re standing on the sidewalk together, watching him disappear into the night.
“Should we move Bernie again?” I ask, hoping for more alone time with Olivia before we enter my family’s chaos inside the house.
She nods and follows me over to where our snowman friend sits. Together, we push him a few feet to the left until we’re satisfied with his new spot. We both take a step back to admire our work as the first hints of snow begin to pour from the sky.
We’re quiet as we stare out at the falling snow. The front yard is lit up from the Christmas lights on the house and the light post that sits on the sidewalk, illuminating the diamond-like sparkles of each snowflake.
“Snow falling is always so beautiful,” she says.
I look down at Olivia, a small smile tugging at her pink lips as she studies the snow in amazement.
“So are you.” The truth escapes me, but this time I don’t avert my gaze or try to hide my true feelings. I can let them out in the open, and there’s something freeing about that.
I take her hands into mine as she turns to look at me. I watch in awe as snowflakes fall around us, a few landing in Olivia’s hair, some kissing her cheek.
“You know what would make this moment even more magical?” My voice sounds gruff, as I’m not able to stop myself.
She holds my gaze for a moment, everything else around us becoming a haze as I focus on her. Only her.
“What’s that?” she whispers, her hands letting go of mine so that they can find their place on my chest.
“If you’ll let me kiss you again.” Tension fills the air until I’m restless with it. I run a hand through her hair, my other cupping her cheek. I'm scared that this is pushing things with Olivia, but now that I’ve kissed her, I want more.
Her eyes flutter closed, her lips part, and she leans into me. It’s all the encouragement I need to no longer hold myself back. I pull her close until our lips are fused together. She fists her hands into the collar of my coat, erasing the last bit of space between us.
I let myself imagine that Olivia has been harboring the same type of attraction to me for all these years like I have been for her. That maybe, all this time, we’ve been holding ourselves back for the right moment, and the right moment isnow.I wasn’t prepared for this—to have the press of her curves against me and to taste her lips again. I never could have imagined how amazing this would feel.
She can be mine. If she’ll allow that, after I explain everything to her.
That thought alone is enough to sober me up, but she’s leading this kiss, and I gladly shut all the doubt and guilt from my mind. Some of the tension that has been weighing down my shoulders for the last eleven years dissipates with her kiss.
I pull away this time, trying not to react to the sound of hergasp as she tries to catch her breath. The delicate skin on her chin is red from the friction of the stubble on my jaw, as if my body was claiming her as much as my heart. Her eyelids flutter, long strawberry-blonde lashes fan against her cheeks, and then she opens her eyes, gaze landing on mine, lips curling into a soft smile.
“That was quite magical,” she says breathlessly as her hands slide up my chest, landing onto the base of my skull.
A laugh jumps out of me, and her expression softens with the sound. “Told you so.”
She leans toward me, placing her head onto my chest, and then quickly stiffens as she says, “Your family is watching us through the windows.”
