She looks fragile, a silent plea in her eyes, and compassion replaces all the hurt I have in my heart for her. Having a relationship with Jesus will do that to a person. He brings you strength right when you need it the most and helps you let go of the hurt. I’m ready for us to move past this with His help.
“Since I’ve been back home, I’ve felt God working on my heart. He’s slowly healing my old wounds. It helps that you were brave and opened up to me. Thank you for sharing your story and the reasoning behind your actions. I’m proud of you for what you’ve overcome and for working on your own heart. Together, I think we can move forward.”
She crumbles in front of me and places her face into the palms of her hands. Her shoulders shake as she sobs, and I move over to sit next to her. I place an arm around her and put my forehead against the side of her face. My hand rubs circlesagainst her back, trying my best to comfort her and whisper that things are going to be okay. After a few moments, she starts to calm down.
I hand her a few tissues and wait for her to dry her eyes before I lean over and give her a hug. We stay there, wrapped in each other's arms for a long moment, and for the first time, I feel the heaviness lift away from my shoulders. I hope she feels it too.
When we pull back, she reaches out and touches my cheek, her thumb rubbing against my skin, and she gives me a look that only a mother can. That look alone is everything I’ve prayed for and more. “Can you tell me what I’ve missed over the last decade?”
A soft laugh escapes me, relief that we can move past the hurt and actually have a normal conversation. “Where do I even begin?”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Now
Ryland
In my rearview mirror, the cabins are swallowed up by the trees, rolling hills, and distant mountains. I follow the winding back roads toward the Wiley farm, rolling down the windows to let in the smell of wildflowers and freshly cut grass. Over the whir of the engine, I can make out the sound of the babbling creek that leads toward the driveway.
Earl’s truck is sitting next to Raine’s vehicle by the garage. A bright-red lawn mower is making its way across the front yard. I greet Earl with a wave before grabbing my tool belt and box from the bed of my truck and walking over to him.
“Rough morning?” he asks as he turns the mower off, his pale-blue eyes giving me a once-over, the edge of his mouth twitching as he fights a smile.
“Do I look that bad?”
Earl rubs my head, a smile spreading across his face, before a bark of laughter escapes him. I always found Earl’s laugh to be one of the best sounds in the world. He has the type of laugh that causes his whole stomach to bounce, the sound more of a roar than a chuckle. It’s contagious.
“It took a lot of effort to get Annabelle to school on time this morning. Sometimes, she acts like a teenager instead of a seven-year-old.”
What I didn't mention was the fact that I hardly got any sleep last night after my ice cream date with Raine. We talked for hours, discussing how things went with her and her mom, and catching up on things we missed through the years. Something felt different with Raine, a light shift in the air, like she could be thinking about staying. I wanted to ask her last night if that could be a possibility for her but I chickened out and because of that, I tossed and turned all night.
Earl grins, shaking his head, and gives me a knowing look that tells me he understands. “Rusty was the same way.” His smile fades just a bit, as it always does at the mention of his deceased son, but he’s quick to tuck it away.
He points behind him, and my eyes follow. I see Raine holding a basket in one hand and a camera hanging down her neck as she shuts the door to the chicken coop behind her. She’s wearing a long cream floral dress that fits her body a little loosely. I try not to gawk, especially while standing in front of her grandfather, but my lips part on their own, and I can’t seem to take my eyes away from her.
Her gaze lands on me, her eyes always holding an appreciation for many things. Somehow, I got lucky enough to be one of them.
I peel mine away from her and return my attention back to Earl, whose grin has grown into a smirk. Heat rises up my neck as Raine approaches us and watches me curiously.
“Rough morning?” Her Southern accent is making an appearance this morning. She shakes her head, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
“Like grandfather, like granddaughter,” I reply with a chuckle. I run a hand through my hair, and sure enough, its’ sticking up everywhere. I hear the sound of a click and look up to see Raine’s camera pointing at me. As she moves it down,peeking out from behind the lens, the grin she gives me warms every cell in my body.
“I didn’t sign up to be your model today.” I point at her, and the edge of my mouth spasming as I hold back a smile, remembering how she used to have her lens pointed at me a lot as teens.
“Clearly,” she tosses at me with a mischievous grin. “Actually, I was photographing the animals and garden in the morning light. I woke up feeling inspired.”
“The farm will do that to ya,” Earl adds with a sad smile. “Your Mamaw loved how the flowers looked with morning dew still on their petals. After our morning coffee, I would sit on the porch and watch her walk around, gathering inspiration for her next painting. She would have that look of awe in her eyes, and when that morning light would hit her, it always took my breath away.”
Raine shifts on the balls of her feet and slips her bottom lip in between her teeth. I want to reach out and hold her hand, but Earl beats me to it. He motions for her to do a little spin, and a shy smile spreading across her face as she twirls, the dress flowing around her legs. “You look so much like your grandmother, especially wearing her dress.”
I agree with him. It’s easy to compare how my heart feels for Raine with how Earl and Johanna loved one another. The same type of love that my Nan and Pop had. A kind of love that so many people pray for. The truth hits me hard right then, that I’m still in love with Raine.
“I hope it’s okay that I’m wearing it. I was looking through her things, and wearing her dresses makes me feel closer to her.”
He nods his head in understanding. “It's okay. It suits you. She’d want you to wear it and be here to take care of things.”
We stand there under the shade of the old oak tree and discuss the rest of the renovation plans. The home will be finished by the weekend. A familiar sense of panic finds itsplace in the pit of my stomach, knowing that once the house is finished, Raine will be returning to her life in Rockdale.
