I’ve let time slip away, and I don’t want to make the same mistake I did in the past. Would it be wrong of me to ask Raine to stay? Would she want to stay in Covewood and give us a second chance?
She’s hinted lately that she’s not looking forward to returning to Rockdale. How her job doesn’t feel as satisfying as it once had. She lives by herself in a small apartment. She doesn’t have close friendships besides a few office buddies. And since returning to Covewood, I've noticed how much happier she seems.She has blossomed, Johanna’s words vibrate in my mind. But this time she was able to blossom at home.
Lord, give me strength. I want to ask her if she’s thought of staying. I don’t want to let her go again.
“It all sounds good. The three of us can meet after church on Sunday to discuss the next steps. I’ll leave you both to it,” Earl says, reaching a hand out, and I give him a firm shake. “You all have a good day. I love you, Little Duck.”
“I love you more,” Raine replies, and we watch him walk to his truck and drive down the driveway before we turn toward each other, an awkwardness buzzing between us.
The things that go unsaid are often the things that eat at you, whether because you didn’t get to say them, or because the other person never got to hear what you truly wanted. My mouth opens to say something, but it’s like a scratch is in the back of my throat, itching its way to the tip of my tongue, yet never quite reaching. There’s no amount of tea or honey to soothe these thoughts that I can’t quite choke up.
“I can’t believe it’s almost done,” she says, breaking our awkward silence and looking up toward the house. I study her face for a moment, taking in the freckles that are starting to appear on her nose and cheeks, flowing across her exposed shoulders. A slight redness of a sunburn has appeared on the skin of her shoulders and chest.
She seems different today. She is smiling more freely, her shoulders holding a lightness to them. She releases a breath as a brilliant smile taking over her lips, and I’m captivated by them.
“Mamaw would be proud. It’s perfect.” She hums in delight before turning to me and wrapping her arms around my back, as if she’d been waiting to hug me all morning. I have a list of things to get finished today, but I will greedily take any moment to feel her against me.
“When I first started on the project, I wanted it to be everything Earl and Johanna needed, but I also want it to be perfect for you,” I whisper into her neck.
There is a deep sense of ache that always seems to find my heart when I think about the potential of hers intertwined with mine. I must be mad to have these relishing thoughts and dreams, allowing thewhat ifsto torment me. It only took a few moments of Raine being back in my company to set my heart ablaze, restoring some hidden hope I buried ten years ago.
I bring Raine closer to my chest, and she presses her body in, soft and warm. My mind feels at peace for the first time in a long time.
I inwardly thank God and hug her even tighter. The type of love she and I had before was something to be cherished. And finally, she’s here. She’s home.
Raine takes a step back to look up at me, the effect of my words clear in her expression. She reaches up and places her hands onto the sides of my face, like a prayer in which no words exist. With each embrace that we’ve had since she’s been home, it’s as if our hearts are rediscovering something familiar.
She releases a breath, her stress evaporating before she pulls away but not completely. Her arms slide down until they land on either side of my hips, and she’s blinking at me with those mesmerizing blue eyes, and the words slip right through my lips.
“Stay.”
Her eyes widen with shock, and nerves twist the inside my stomach. I don’t want to cause her to run, but I need to getthese words out before they suffocate me. And the words keep tumbling from my mouth, completely ignoring the warning bells going off in my brain.
“I mean, you could stay if you wanted. Not that your job isn’t important in Rockdale. It’s just… Never mind. I’m butchering this, aren’t I?”
Raine lifts a hand and places it on my elbow. With a gentle squeeze, she gives me a reassuring smile. I expect her to back away and retreat. Instead, she watches me for a moment before saying, “Take a breath, Ry, and try again.”
I inhale and feel myself relax just a bit. “I have this whole speech I’ve been working on,” I admit and run a hand through my already messy hair.
“You were never good at speeches.” She grins and points to the porch, signaling for us to take a seat. Space would probably help me regain my composure. I could never think straight with her body touching mine.
“Remember that time in history class—I think it was our junior year—and you had to do a speech in front of the whole class,” she adds after running inside to pour us both a cup of coffee. She hands me a mug, and the warmth and scent of hazelnut help my nerves to calm down.
We take a seat at the porch table, and I reply, “I’m pretty sure I blacked out because all I remember was walking out the door.”
“That’s what you did. You stood there, stuttered for a moment, and then just bolted out the door.” She laughs at the memory, and the noise loosens some of the tension in my shoulders.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” I add and look down at the table’s surface. “The house is almost done, and I know you have a life back in Rockdale to return to, but I don’t want to miss this opportunity to tell you…”
So many feelings are running through me as I stare at her, mouth open to say the words, and yet they’re trapped in mythroat.Again.I don’t want to scare her. I want to do things right this time. My chest burns, my stomach contracts, the blood seems to rush to my temples, and I try my best to breathe.
Do I have the courage to let her go again? Could I stitch the shattered pieces of my heart back together for a second time? Simply seeing her again has brought back years of memories, and listening to her talk—the trusting and knowing sound of her voice—is like time jumped backward or like we haven’t been away from each other that long.
Raine squeezes my hands, guiding my attention back from the table to her open and eager face. “Tell me what?”
“That I love you. I always have, and I’ve never stopped.”
There it is, all laid out on the table between us. As my words hit her, I watch her eyes grow glossy, and her bottom lip slightly quivers. I want to lean over and place my lips against hers, and without thinking, my body takes over. I stand up and walk to her side of the table. I reach for her hands and gently guide her up toward me.
