“I’m sorry to show up at the last minute. I had to—” she starts, her voice shaky. “Anyway, I wanted to see you before you left.”
“You did?” Raine questions, her words soft.
“Yeah. I can’t stay long,” she adds, and we know what she means. Davis will know that she’s gone or that she’s here. The last thing we need is him involved. “You look beautiful. I hope you all have fun.”
The breath Raine is holding whooshes out slowly, making her body deflate like a balloon. She runs a hand down her braid nervously, giving her mother a shy smile, before thanking her for coming. Her mom waves goodbye to us all before disappearing as fast as she came, leaving us all shocked and frozen in place until we see the red lights of her vehicle leaving the farm.
“We called and asked if she could sneak and come see you. It’s what your father would have wanted. They went to prom together, you know. Plus, you deserve to have your mother see you off to your own prom,” Johanna announces, giving Raine’s arm a small squeeze before leaning over and planting a kiss onto her cheek.
“I’m ready to dance the night away!” Olivia shouts as Raine and I follow her through the door.
We give everyone one last wave goodbye before shutting the door behind us and once we are down the front door steps I take a moment to sneak in a quick kiss. “You look beautiful.” I whisper into her ear, soaking in the smile she gives me, and lead her towards the car.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Now
Raine
My spirit feels stirred today after such a powerful message at church. I was nervous at first, but as soon as the music started playing, the buzzing within my veins settled, and I finally was able to breathe. I closed my eyes, exhaled, and imagined myself releasing all the bad that was pent up within my heart. Oddly enough, the preacher’s message today was about forgiveness.
God likes to talk to us within the quiet moments, and other times, like today, I hear him loud and clear. He knows exactly what I’m going to be facing today and sent the words that I’ll need to carry with me to get through. I’m so thankful.
I’m picking at the skin on my thumb as Papaw drives us to my old childhood home. I’m thankful he agreed to come with me. I need the comfort his presence brings. I haven’t seen this house since the day I left, and I’m not sure what to expect.
As we pull into the driveway, my jaw drops. What was once an old brick home, littered with junk on the porch and under the carport, is now bright and updated, complete with an added garage.
My Papaw looks over at me with a large smile on his face, the kind that always seems to soften my heart. “Doesn’t look the same, does it, Little Duck?” he states and points at the house.
I’m speechless. The brick has been cleaned up and painted a dark gray. The cracks on the edge of the home, right where my bedroom used to be, have been repaired. The shutters have been restored and painted white. The broken-down wooden porch with missing steps is newer. I close the truck door and take the three white steps that lead up to a closed porch with matching rocking chairs to the left of the door.
There’s nothing here that reminds me of my childhood, and I’m thankful for it. However, I still feel the whirl of nerves in the pit of my stomach. Just because the outside of the home is different doesn’t mean the inside will be too. The same goes for the people.
I bite my tongue the moment Preston, my mother’s husband, opens the door and reveals a completely redone living room behind him. My eyes return to the man standing greeting us with a smile so big I’m pretty sure I can see all his teeth. “Hey, guys! Come on in!”
Preston’s baby-blue eyes stay on me as I enter the house. Papaw and I take our shoes off at the door, and I reach over to wrap my arm through his, keeping him close for support. He gives my hand an encouraging pat before we make our way through the living room.
“Shannon is in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. Everything should be done in just a few minutes.”
Papaw and Preston move into an easy conversation, but their words are tuned out as I scan the living room. The walls aren’t an old yellow color any longer. The light-gray paint gives the room a modern feel along with the black leather couch, wall of bookshelves, and refinished wood furniture. What happened to the old coffee table that I spun around andaccidentally broke when I was eight? The small bookshelf we turned over to make a TV stand?
There’s nothing left from my childhood. Yet, memories start to flash behind my eyes nonetheless. Memories of Mom lying on the couch, passed out with an empty bottle nearby. Davis tossing an empty beer can at my head. Mom staring at me with blank eyes. I shake my head, willing the memories away.
The past cannot be healed if I choose to stay there. I can only heal if I stay living fully in the present. I need to accept that my mom has changed and that Davis is no longer a threat to me. I cling to my Papaw a little tighter when I see Mom enter the room. She takes me in from my head to my toes, and her expression softens on her face.
“I’m so glad you came,” she whispers, placing her hand onto Preston’s arm.
“Thanks for having us,” Papaw replies. “Dinner smells good.”
“We made homemade chicken and dumplings,” she announces, her eyes finding mine, a smile crinkling the edges.
Chicken and dumplings was a childhood favorite of mine. Before Davis’ and Mom’s drinking became uncontrollable, she used to cook chicken and dumplings every Saturday for me. The memory stings my heart, especially seeing her like this. Healthy and happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so lively. Not even back when things were at their best.
I try to give her a smile, but it's a weak one. My nerves having found me once again. Papaw and I follow them through the hallway and into the dining room and take our seats at a beautiful wooden table. This room used to house Davis’ boxes of junk. It was never used for hosting dinners. My eyes roam the room and take a peek into the kitchen.
“We completely redid the whole house several years ago,” Mom says as she sets a basket of rolls in the middle of the table. “Right before Preston and I got married, we knew we wanted to keep this home, but it needed a lot of updates.”
“I lived in a tiny apartment two towns away, and Shannon wanted to stay in Covewood,” Preston adds with a grin. “She always hoped you’d come back, Raine. We’re happy to have you here.”
