I never liked Mr. Philips, with his bad attitude and the way he always spits when he talks in class, but I especially don't like him now. He ruined something I’ve been praying for since I was fourteen years old. Ryland and I both frown as we sulk our way through the door and walk into the hallway. I give Ryland one last small smile before I have to head in the opposite direction to class.
Chapter Eighteen
Now
Raine
Yesterday was my last day at Olivia’s, and even with the farm being just down the road, it felt like another goodbye. Luke spent the day with us, and I soaked up every last moment of that dedicated time with them. I know my time will be spread thin between the renovations, working remotely, and taking care of the chores. I helped with those same chores for years when I lived here, and I took care of them just fine yesterday, but when Papaw and I met at the farm earlier he still insisted on showing me exactly how he does everything.
Once he left, I kept busy with cleaning where I could around the construction and ended up sorting through my Mamaw’s clothes. They still smelled like her. It was strange, how just the familiar scent of her helped me to envision her better.
When I closed my eyes to finally go to sleep, I could hear the sound of her laughter, picture her giant smile, and see every small element of her face. If we could forget our loved ones who have passed, it wouldn’t hurt anymore. But I don’t want toforget her. I’d rather endure the pain in order to keep her alive within my memories.
My phone rings beside me on my nightstand and I roll over and see Samuel’s name light up the screen. I haven’t talked to him in days.
“Hey,” I answer and push myself to sit up.
“Good morning. Did I wake you?” he asks. I can hear the sound of his coffee maker in the background. My feet hit the ground, and I shuffle my way into the kitchen to do the same for myself.
“No, I’ve been lying in bed, being lazy, but I need to get up and take care of the animals.”
He snickers. “That sounds so weird to hear you say.”
Maybe it is to him, but it isn’t to me. Falling back into the old habit of taking care of the animals and garden is like riding a bicycle, especially since my grandparents run the farm pretty much the same way they did in my youth. I could complete each task blindfolded if I want to. However, Samuel doesn’t know this version of me, so of course it would feel strange to him. It's another reminder that he doesn’t know me, not really.
“Yeah, I bet it does,” I admit, pulling my comforter around me to stay warm, I make my way down the hall.
“Olivia doesn’t have a farm, does she?”
It’s my turn to snicker. The image of Olivia handling the chores, especially the task of scooping out the droppings from animal stalls, sends me into another fit of laughter.
“Gosh no. Although, I’d pay good money to see her try it out for a day.”
“Oh. So, you’re staying at your grandparents, then?”
Grandparents.
The single word stings in a way that’s unfair. It’s no longer my grandparents’ home. I’m not sure if it will even be Papaw’s by the end of the renovations. I need to think of a way to convince him to keep the farm. I can’t fathom the idea of losing this place. It’s my safe haven.
“Yeah. It’s easier to keep up with everything if I stay here.”
“How long do you plan on staying?”
“Probably for a few weeks. I’m going to take it day by day. I start working remotely on Monday, and I don’t know how long I can push my luck with my bosses. I don’t want to take a chance of returning to no job at all.”
The thought of losing all the hard work I’ve done for the last decade sends a rush of anxiety through me. Coffee probably won’t help my nerves, but I ignore that fact and push the button to start the brewing process.
“They won’t fire you. They need you and your amazing photography skills.”
Yeah, tell that to do-no-wrong Thomas. He’ll take this opportunity to brown-nose his way to a promotion for sure. Oddly, the thought of that doesn’t bother me as badly as it probably should. I shrug those thoughts away and study the calendar hanging on the fridge.
“Anyway, I just wanted to call and check in with you.”
“I’m doing better. Thank you.” I know to some people it’s probably frowned upon to still talk to their ex after they’ve freshly broken up, but Samuel and I always had a trusting friendship between us, even if I kept pieces of myself hidden from him. I hope that we can still keep our friendship after everything.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he says, and I know he means it. “I’m sorry for how things ended between us, but I want you to know that I’m still here for you.”
“I appreciate that, Sam. And I’ll be here for you also.”
