I think of Zane and his reaction to seeing me again. I remember how many times he apologized then and now, explaining it wasn’t his story to tell. And maybe it wasn’t. I finally pushed my own thoughts down to step into his shoes and realized I would have done the same for Camryn or any of my friends back then. Maybe that isn’t right or fair, but I would have.
My eyes lift back to Colt’s. I can see his apology in his eyes, the way the truth has weighed on him, shaped his life, and led him here. He’s been lost and alone, while at least I had a support system and people who pushed me to live my life to the fullest. To be happy. I think about my own growth over the past tenyears. The love, the loss, the self-discovery. It’s a burden to carry around so much anger and hate any longer.
“I wish you had told me,” I start, and I notice his eye twitches. “I wish I had known the pain you were in or just anything else than what you let me believe. That was what always hurt the most, the fact that you lied. I always knew there had to have been a reason. I would have understood, Colt. And even if that had led to us breaking up then or down the road, at least it would have been honest.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his hands folded, resting against his lips, and I swear I see his eyes shimmer.
“Thank you,” I tell him. “I accept your apology. And I’m glad you and Zane both ended up here alive, and that you found the peace you’d been looking for. I needed to let this go and now I feel like I finally can.”
Our food arrives then and we both rush to pull ourselves together. I gently dab under my eyes, where a few tears were threatening to spill over. Colt clears his throat, and we make attempts at other small talk as we eat our meals. He checks his watch, making sure we’re staying on track for time, and it feels good that I don’t have to worry for now. It starts to feel comfortable.
When we’re finished, he snatches the check, even after I offer to pay my portion. He declines over and over until I give up. I guess I’ll take the free meal and drink. We both stand to leave, and Colt walks behind me, his hand gently resting on my side, guiding me out the front door. It's such a light touch, but I can feel the heat coming off his skin through my cotton shirt. I’m careful not to touch him back or lean too much into him, even though part of me wants to.
He walks me to the passenger door and I look him over again, really taking in his appearance without the cut and motorcycle grease. His jeans hang low on his hips and the dark blue Henleyhe chose pulls tight against his broad chest. He’s my ex and I should not be lusting after him. Why couldn’t he have the decency to have gotten less attractive or smell bad in the last ten years? That would be fair in the karmic universe. I guess that at least, if I have to lay low with my life on pause, Colt is making up for it with his appearance.
“I’m glad we got the chance to reconnect.” I clear my throat and nod toward the restaurant we just came out of. “At least while my life is in shambles, I’ll be surrounded by friends.”
Colt’s eyes wander over my face. Whatever he sees causes his eyes to flash, angrily, possessively, and filled with annoyance. “Lyric, I didn’t ask you to lunch and open up so we could just bury the past. I was a little caught off guard by the way our conversation went, but by no means is this me walking away, giving you closure or whatever.”
“I—"
He cuts me off, stepping closer, until he’s in my space, my relaxed Vans touching his Nikes. “I am sorry I hurt you and lied to you and that it took me ten years to get it out, but this isn’t me walking away again. I’m not reconnecting with you and burying the past so that things go smoothly for the club. Thank you for forgiving me for the past, I mean I’ll take it, but even if you hadn’t, I’m prepared to argue about it with you for the rest of our lives, and make up with you about it for however long it takes.”
“It’s been ten years, Colt.” I shake my head and move to step back. “We aren’t the same people anymore, and honestly, you can’t just stroll on in and play the ‘you want me now’ card because we saw each other again. Ten years. You could have reached out at any time.”
His hand reaches out and latches onto my wrist, forcing my body to fall into his. “I never thought I’d see you again, Lyric. I figured you were married with kids, and I didn’t want to ruin things for you. Seeing you, though, blew that last piece ofdecency right out of the water. You’re meant to be mine. You always have been.”
My knees turn to Jell-O and I’m instantly pissed at myself about it. Yanking my hand out of his grip, I step to the side and pull my door open. I feel his gaze burn holes in my back while I hop up into the seat and close the door in his face. My heart beats erratically the whole time while he makes his way back over to his side of the truck and hops in. Over and over again in my head, I can hear my mom’s voice telling me the pain would go away some day, and it did, only to have the source of that pain arrive in the flesh, busting his way back into my life. And this time, I need him. Memories of Jordan telling me to be stronger, then also telling me to forgive and be happy before he died flashes in my mind. I’m torn. I can forgive him. I did forgive him. There is no way, though, I can give Colt Street my heart again. I’m barely surviving now from the shape it’s in.
Chapter 16
Colt
Lyric’s body is radiating fury next to me and for some reason it makes me want to smile. I knew my words would shock her, but I didn’t expect the silence while she sits angrily. For some reason, I prefer that to her brushing it off or flat-out refusing me. She even got jealous about the Ari situation, even though she denied it. I know her, and I know her question wasn’t out of concern. Her feelings are there and they’re strong if it’s any indication from the flush on her cheeks and neck, the way her hands are coiled in her lap, even while she refuses to give me any attention. I can work with anger over indifference, so I let her be the entire thirty minutes it takes to get to her house.
When we pull into the quiet neighborhood, Lyric sits up straighter, her eyes roaming over every house, car, and neighbor out walking their dog. A few people stop and glance at my truck, probably noticing Lyric in a vehicle that hasn’t been seen before.
“Great,” she mutters under her breath and I hear her sigh.
“At least your neighbors are nosey. It means they can tell when something isn’t right or out of place. That was helpful tothe officers who responded to your house that night,” I tell her and watch as tension slowly eases out of her shoulders.
“How are we going to play this if anyone asks questions,” she asks.
My brow quirks up and a smile pulls at my lips. “The truth, baby. We’re old friends and I’m here to help you pack up until your house is fixed.”
“Don’t call me that, Colt.” Lyric rolls her eyes and I fight the urge to grin even bigger.
Lyric’s house looks normal when we pull into her drive, except for yellow tape on the front door and a written notice to stay off the property for the investigation. Her mouth tilts down and she looks like she could cry. I reach for her hand and take it in mine.
“It's going to be okay.”
Her glassy eyes meet mine and she nods her head. “I just thought I was safe here, you know? Why won’t he leave me alone?”
My hand squeezes hers and I pull her forward into my chest for the second time today. This time she sinks into my hold and takes a few shuddering breaths. While she’s somewhat distracted, I take the keys from her hand and unlock her front door. By the time she steps back and has regained what she can of her composure, I let the door swing open.
“Let me go first. I’ll scope it out,” I tell her, keeping her hand in mine while I lead her in behind me.
The kitchen has been somewhat cleaned up and major glass from the coffee table has been swept up in the living room. Her white wall is blotched in red where the angry message had been left. Light pours in from the sliding door and the windows where the coverings are open.
