“I’m sorry,” I told him again. “Lee, I am, but I’ve…It’s not like that. I’m notsneaking aroundor anything. I just made a mistake this weekend…and with mini golf. I messed up, okay? But we talked about college. You said—”
“I know what I said!” Lee erupted, tossing the laundry basket down now. It spilled onto its side. “I’m super proud of you, Elle, but I’m allowed to be pissed off, too, okay?Excuse mefor being upset that our plans for college have gone to shit so you can live it up in Boston with your boyfriend.”
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. My hands were trembling now, but all I could do was wait, let him say his piece.
“I know you’re trying to make up for it with the bucket list, Shelly, and I appreciate that, but…it’s not…I hate that it feels like a last-ditch effort to rescue our friendship, okay?”
“Whoa, hold on. Since when did our friendship needrescuing?”
“Since you went on this manic one-woman mission to give us the best last summer ever before we start college!”
“Because I thought that’d make you happy and make up for me not being at Berkeley!”
“You know what would make up for you not coming to Berkeley? You going there with me this weekend.”
“I already made plans with Noah. I genuinely can’t believe I forgot tomorrow was Berkeley, but it was an honest mistake. Noah and Ireallyneed some quality time this weekend, you know? It’s just been a bit tense with everything going on. You get that, right? What about Sunday? We can go Sunday instead.”
I was working, but I could try to swap my shift with someone. And I had a bunch of stuff to do, but that could wait. We’d talked about going to the arcade again and I was supposed to look after Brad so Dad could go to dinner with Linda, but I could make it work. Noah could totally look after Brad for a little while till we got back from Berkeley; Brad would love that, I knew.
But Lee informed me, “I have plans on Sunday.”
“Oh. Oh, r-right.”
“Can’t you change your plans with Noah?”
“I…”
He took my silence for what it was: that I waschoosingnot to do that.
“We can’t do Berkeley another weekend, Lee? What’s the rush? We’ve got all summer.”
“The plan,” he said through his teeth, “was to go to Berkeley tomorrow. And that’s what I’m gonna do. You do whatever you want, Elle.”
“Lee…”
He kept tidying, saying nothing, not even looking at me. I knew better than to push him or keep apologizing.
When had my life turned into this circus act of spinning plates? And why was it that every time I got a handle on Lee’s plate, I lost control of Noah’s? When did it become so hard to manage being Lee’s best friend and Noah’s girlfriend?
When did that even become a thing I had tomanage?
I could tell Noah I couldn’t hang out with him tomorrow anymore. I could tell him I was going to Berkeley with Lee. Icould,but I needed this weekend with Noah, too. This wasn’t just something I was doing for him.
I could suggest Rachel and Noah come along and we make a group thing of it—but that would ruin the whole point. This was the compromise for me bailing on our plans to go to Berkeley together, and all I’d done was…
Bail on these plans to go to Berkeley together, too.
Way to go, Elle.
“We can find another day to go,” I said, hating the silence. “Lee?”
“Sure. Maybe.”
Which meant:No.
“Lee, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, I know.”
