“Both of you, actually,” I mumbled, heading over to him. Noah went back to making his sandwich. I shook my head for a moment at the mere sight of it. Noah and Lee always made thebiggestsandwiches, and this was one of the most impressive I’d seen. It had to be at least four inches tall.
Noah caught me looking and smirked. “What? We had leftover beef.”
“Yeah, and everything else.” I squinted at the sandwich. Spinach, tomatoes, and turkey, too, by the looks of it. “That could feed a village.”
Noah scrunched his nose up. “What, of My Little Ponies? You want some?”
I shook my head. I didn’t think I could stomachanythingright now, but I also wouldn’t have been surprised if I took a bite and found anchovies or pineapple or something else totally wrong in there.
“So what’s up?” he asked, grabbing the sandwich with both hands and wolfing down a huge bite. Unlike Lee, he chewed and swallowed before speaking again. “Or were you just missing me?”
I wrung my hands.
“I have to talk to you about something.”
Noah paused, the sandwich halfway to his mouth. He set it back down slowly, eyebrows drawing together and forehead puckering. Those gorgeous, electric blue eyes pierced right through me as they searched mine, trying to understand.
I couldn’t say I blamed him for looking so concerned: the whole “we need to talk” vibe was never a good one. Even if this time it maybe kinda was.
I took a few more deep breaths before squaring my shoulders and telling him, “I got into Harvard. And I’ve decided to go.”
I had a whole speech prepared. About how I’d just wanted to see if I could get in, how proud my dad was, how I’d been wait-listed, and how this had nothing to do with Noah or Lee…I didn’t know what had happened to the speech, but now the news was out there, and there was no taking it back.
Noah stared at me.
I squirmed, but he stayed silent.
I sighed, caving. “Well, say something!”
In an instant, Noah was grabbing me by the waist and hoisting me into the air. I shrieked when my feet left the ground and he spun me, cheering, and set me back down to kiss me fiercely.
Noah’s kisses were intoxicating. The taste of his lips was addictive; the feel of his tongue in my mouth and his hands on my skin could make me forget the rest of the world ever existed; the warmth of his body so close to mine and the familiar smell of him could make me melt.
But right now, none of that could ease the gnawing anxiety that I would need to tell Lee about college, too.
And then I heard, “Please tell me you guys aren’t engaged or pregnant. But if you are, I’d better be the maid of honor or the godfather.”
Noah broke our kiss, his face falling slightly as it dawned on him that my decision to go to Harvard might be something for him to celebrate, but it meant letting Lee down. He drew back from me, hands falling from my hips, and looked between us before clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck.
“I’ll, uh, give you guys some…space.”
He grabbed his sandwich and vanished from the kitchen.
Lee looked a little pale now, and I could hardly look him in the eye. He stepped over to me, hesitating before putting a hand on my arm. “Elle? What’s…what’s going on? Hey, come on,” he said, his voice soft and gentle, a small smile on his face as he guided me to one of the stools at the breakfast bar. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying,” I insisted, but my voice wavered and my visionhadgone a little misty. I blinked a few times and grabbed Lee’s hands in both of mine. “It’s about college.”
“What about it?”
Oh God, I hated how peppy he sounded. Howoptimistic.Howexcited.
And I was about to break his heart.
I tried to remember my speech, what I’d thought over and planned to say to him last night, every word and turn of phrase I’d agonized over, but now I could only remember fractured snippets of it.
“I know we always planned to go to Berkeley. Since forever. Like our moms did and, you know, because of Brad, and…God, Lee, I didn’tmeanfor this to happen. Okay? You’ve got to understand that. But it’s…You didn’t see the look on my dad’s face. He was so goddamn proud. And…and I am, too, obviously. It’s a huge deal. Not…not that Berkeley isn’t or anything but…just think of all the doors it might open, being out in Boston! And Iswear,I wasn’t trying to keep secrets. Noah didn’t know either, and my dad didn’t know. I didn’t even tell Levi about it either. I only just got the acceptance from Harvard and—”
“Acceptance?” Lee asked, chest heaving with a sigh. “You’re not going to Berkeley, are you?”
