Except…
“That all sounds like really great advice,” I told June, “but there’s one little problem.”
“What’s that, honey?”
“I have no freaking idea what I’m passionate about.”
June laughed, sipping her coffee. “Oh, you’ll get there, sweetie. I’m not saying you need to decide now what you want to do with your life—God knows your mother and I hadnoidea, and she applied to about thirty different jobs before she found one she liked the sound of. But it’s worth thinking about what you might like to do. Working with kids, running a business, journalism…” June leaned back to squint thoughtfully at me. “I could see you doing something creative. Somethingcrazy.Look at what you guys did with the kissing booth! The whole summer bucket-list thing! Just look at what you did with race day!”
It was my turn to laugh now.
“What, you think I’m going to make a career out ofMario Kart?”
“Well, hey. You never know. Stranger things have happened.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Our final days in the beach house were either miserably somber or we were almost manic in our mission to make the most of it. Everything from near-silent days as we moved around, packing things up, to a midnight feast our final night on the beach, which ended in Amanda going skinny-dipping and then immediately regretting it. She shrieked that she was “freezing her ass off” and raced all the way back to the house, butt naked.
On our last morning at the beach house, it was a somber kind of day again.
I’d been back in my old bed, sharing the room with Amanda, these last few days while Noah was back—it seemed silly to make him stay on the couch or for him to keep making the drive back and forth between the beach house and his parents’ place. This morning, I crept out of bed before Amanda woke up and went to make myself some breakfast.
I stood in the kitchen, not tasting any of the Froot Loops I was slowly munching on, and surveyed the place.
It felt sowrong.
The cupboards were almost empty. Boxes sat piled up, half full and waiting to be closed. The couches looked so bare without the colorful assortment of old throw pillows and blankets. Noah had taken the TV home two days ago, leaving a gaping space against the wall. We’d scrubbed the floors to within an inch of their life, but I didn’t think they’d ever looked so old and worn. And despite all our efforts to be careful, they were already sprinkled with sand again. All the walls had been repainted. They looked too clean, too bright.
The place practically sparkled in comparison to the start of the summer.
I’d never seen it in such good shape. I’d never seen it soclean.
Even with all the old, sagging furniture, it held a shiny appeal.
I hated it. It was wrong, all wrong.
Like the life and soul had been stripped right out of the place.
The sale was closing in three days. Today we would move out. Tomorrow, someone would come and take away the furniture. Then June and Matthew would be handing over the keys.
The soft, muted sound of footsteps creeping down the hallway pulled me out of my head. I looked up to see Rachel, already dressed, hair curling softly around her shoulders. She gave me a small wave and mumbled, “Hi.”
“Hey.”
I stepped out of her way as she got herself a drink.
“You’re not having breakfast?”
Rachel shook her head. “No. I think I’m going to just head back home. Honestly, I don’t have much of an appetite. I packed all my things yesterday and I’m taking some of these boxes back with me. There are so many of them.”
I looked at her in surprise. “You’re not going to stay and help pack the last of the stuff? Not that you should or we’d expect you to. I mean, it’s not like this place is really your responsibility, and you’ve already been a huge help, and—”
She gave a quiet laugh, grinning at me, and shrugged one shoulder as she gestured out at all the boxes. “Everything is pretty much packed anyway. Besides, you’re right. This place doesn’t really have anything to do with me. You guys should have the chance to say a proper goodbye. I don’t want to get in your way.”
There had been times when “in the way” was exactly what Rachel was, as far as I’d been concerned. I’d wanted to spend time with Lee, but no, he was with Rachel. I’d thought we were hanging out, just me and the guys, but no, there was Rachel, and some of the girls along with her.
But over the last year and a bit that she’d been dating Lee, she’d really become a part of my life, too.
