“Won’t your mom be in danger if I’m living with her?”I ask.“I mean, won’t she be in even bigger danger than everyone at the clubhouse?Maybe I should just go hide in the desert or something, or some dark basement alone so I don’t put anyone else in danger.”
He doesn’t say anything, is just standing there like a wonderful wall of stone, letting me rant, the way he usually would.He knows I need to get it all out and then I’ll snap out of it.I know I will too, because he’s here.
“Everything’s gonna work out, Bella,” he says, which just sends my mind spinning even harder with all the things I could, should, need to say to contradict him.
But then I look into his eyes and take a deep breath.And there it is again.That feeling of dreams coming true.
So instead of ranting I walk to him, caress his cheeks and cup them, then stand on my toes and give him one of those sweet kisses that are straight from those dreams too.
And before I know it, we’re lying in bed, clothes flying all over the place again, because fuck it, we have all the time in the world again.All the time I thought was lost forever.
He enters me with the same care he’s always shown me.But also with an urgency that lets me know he’s chasing those lost dreams as hard as I am.Chasing them with his kisses, his caresses, but mostly his thrusts, which never fail to hit the spot, the one where nothing but pleasure and goodness can live.
Pretty soon, I’m moaning into his wild kisses, meeting his thrusts, trying to fight the orgasm knocking at me with all the force of an approaching wildfire… just so I can hold this dream a little longer, just so I can pretend it will never end again.
But there’s no holding back those fires.Never was.
I welcome their all-erasing power, welcome the pure pleasure they wash me in, inside and out.Welcome the good.Because if bad must come, at least we’ll have this wild abandon, this pure bliss to remember.
Bad will come.It always has and always does when I’m around.It’s pretty much the only certainty in my life.As is the fact that I’ll fight it with everything I’ve got.
Just so I can get back to this.To his arms.To this wildfire love we do so well.
13
Blade
The sky outside is the soft dusky pink of twilight as we ride to my mom’s house in Angelino Heights.I took the van when I went to pick her up at the hotel, since it has all her bags in it, so no sunset ride for us today.And not much actual driving either, since the highway is as congested as always at this time in the evenings.
“If you brought your bike, we could be whizzing right past all these standing cars,” Bella muses, looking out her window.
Her skin is aglow with the purplish, dying sunlight, even her eyes a deep violet.It’s my favorite light to look at her by… well, it’s definitely in the top five.
“And next time we will,” I tell her.
She looks at me and grins.“So you will come visit me often.And take me out.”
“I’ll take you out all the time,” I promise her and grin suggestively.“Unless we’d rather stay in.”
“Ugh, doing it at your mom’s house?That’s so cringe,” she says, giggling.
I laugh too.“Hey, anywhere I can get it is just fine.”
She scoots closer and rests her head on my shoulder.“Yeah, anywhere sounds just perfect.”
“Plus, you won’t technically be in the house.”
“I know, I know, the garage,” she says.“Still not sure if that’s the best plan though.”
“It’s the safest place for you.”
She sighs and raises her head, gazing into my eyes.“Do you really think anyone from my old life gives a shit that I’m back?Because I don’t.I think Rogue is just being overly paranoid.Or he’s just trying to chase me away.”
One of these days, we’re all gonna have to have a heart-to-heart about the past and Bella’s role in it.Rogue especially.If he took back Zane, there’s no reason he should continue holding his grudge against Bella.She made mistakes.But she was an addict.And she didn’t mean to hurt anyone, least of all Angel.Or me.She was trying to save me when she was taken by Ghost… but I can’t think about that.
If I hadn’t let myself get beaten up by her family… if I hadn’t been the pussy that let them take her that night, everything would be different.Everything.I try not to think too much about that either.Staring into her big, sad, vulnerable violet eyes right now, that’s very hard to do.
“The traffic’s starting to move,” she says, averting her eyes and breaking the paralyzing spell of all the things that went wrong and can never be put right.
