We all keep our families under protection that they know nothing about.It’s just good practice given the work we do, the enemies we accumulate and, as Rogue put it, the storms we stir up.
“Do that,” he says and stands up.
A moment later, his ol’ lady Melody comes in and I’m amazed, but not surprised that he sensed her coming.I get the same thing with Bella.It’s like life gets a little more alive when she’s near.Like right now, I’m pretty sure she’s already awake.I should get back to her.
So I just say a quick good morning to Melody, tell Rogue he can reach me any time then leave them to their own good mornings.
My mom might take a bit of convincing to let Bella stay in the apartment over the garage that was meant for me.Come to think of it, Bella will probably need some convincing to stay there too.But I’m not taking no for an answer from either of them.Ever again.
12
Bella
I woke up with the sun in my eyes and a note where Blade should be lying.Not the best start to the day.Especially since the note said he’d be back soon and then he wasn’t.I spent nearly two hours trying to enjoy the comfy hotel bedroom, but my mind kept getting stuck on how alone I was.Once again.I’ve spent the last decade far away from my hometown, my family—biological and found—but I never felt as alone as I do in this town when I’m by myself.Go figure.
It doesn’t help that two-thirds of my biological family is gone too.My dad and my brother Ricardo were killed while I was in prison.I could’ve gotten permission to go to their funerals, good behavior and all that, but my only surviving brother Matteo told me not to even think about it and to forget them all, like they’d forgotten me.And he was the nice one.
I haven’t heard from him since.
And between Rogue’s warnings last night and my need to see if I really, truly have no biological family left, I almost called Matteo while I waited for Blade to come back.I’d already dialed the number, all I needed was to press call.But that small action was more than my shaking hands and quivering soul could take.Just like each and every time I’d tried to call Blade in the last decade.
Everyone is better off without me.Everyone.I am ruin.I am the curse that destroys everything.
And right on cue, just as I think that, Blade walks in.Sending my mind into an even darker spiral, because it’s him I most want to protect from my curse.
“Where did you go?”I ask, my voice shaking so hard I’m sure I’m blushing in shame.I’m so much stronger than all this.So much fiercer.So why do I just fall apart whenever I’m faced with my past?
Good thing Ghost never got around to torturing me, or raping me, or all the other terrible things he did to his victims.He just kept me locked up in that dank basement with no food and no water until I’d hallucinated enough for several lifetimes.None of it good.It’s why I don’t like to sleep.Dreaming is too much like those hallucinations.Sometimes they come when I’m wide awake too.
“I’m sorry,” he says and walks to me, reaching out to like he means to caress my face or something.I stand up before he can reach me, hating the pity in his eyes.I am not a fragile thing.Never was.
“No, I’m sorry,” I say.“How about we get some coffee and breakfast?I’m starving.”
I start looking for my clothes which somehow managed to get tossed all over the room.No, not somehow… it happened in that whirlwind of passion that overtook us as soon as we were alone and safe in here.I was reacquainted with so many things I’d forgotten about his body, his touch, his very soul, last night.So many things I’d missed to the point of madness… a point I might have crossed a bit in the last ten years.As this morning’s freak out proves.But just thinking about last night, remembering all the pleasure and bliss is making the darkness of my thoughts fade.
“Sure, yeah,” he says.“But pack up your stuff.We’re not coming back here.”
I freeze in the middle of pulling on my shirt, wondering where the hardness is his voice is coming from.It’s there on his face too.
“OK,” I say and continue getting dressed.Maybe if I pretend everything is fine, it will be.“Where are we going?The clubhouse?”
He shakes his head.“My mom’s.”
“Your mom’s?”I ask, a laugh bursting out of my chest.A relieved sort of laugh, but also everything but.“Your mom hates me worse than anyone.”
He shakes his head.“She doesn’t hate you.She was just mad at you, but she’s gotten over it.Besides, you won’t be staying in the house with her.You’ll be staying in the small apartment over the garage.The one she had made for me when she thought I’d be staying at home while going to college.You can even set up a tattoo studio up there.It’s big enough.I mean, for the time being, until you get settled in and find a better place.”
I walk over to him and lay three fingers over his mouth to silence him.Otherwise, I don’t think he’d ever stop talking.And it’s not like him to talk this much.Ever.He must’ve given this a lot of thought.Probably while he was convincing his mom to go along with it.
“I really hate this idea, but thank you for coming up with it,” I say.“And if you’re there, it won’t suck so bad.I guess.”
He cringes.“I’ll be there as much as I can.I promise.”
“You won’t live there with me?”
“Not all the time… the club…” He’s mumbling because my fingers are pressing down on his lips now.I don’t want to hear this.But there’s no running from it.
So I release him and start looking for my jacket.I’m suddenly very cold.
