I kiss him back.Fiercely, hungrily.Slide my hands over his cheeks and his strong arms and back.Fighting the ugly.Trying to get back to the light.The good.The joy.
He stops kissing me and grins.“How about we take this in the bedroom?”
I stand up and take his hand.“I thought you’d never ask.”
I was almost there.Almost back in the bliss.Now the fire is burning bright, but his eyes are sad again and the fire is giving off no heat.He did ask.Hundreds of times.But I just said no and left.I shouldn’t joke about this.Not yet.The last ten years hold too much pain for both of us.
But at least he’s willing to put it behind us.At least his hand is warm, at least I get to clutch it tight as I drag him towards the bedroom.
I really should’ve tidied up.I haven’t done that in a very long time because I never have visitors and I work all the time.But it doesn’t really matter.His eyes are only seeing me as he lets go of my hand and slides my t-shirt up, the touch of his fingers on my stomach electrifying.
I’m about to feel very good.I know it.And that’s enough.It’s more than enough because I haven’t felt good in so long I’ve forgotten what it was like.
He leans down and kisses my neck, his lips finding that spot no one else has ever found.The one that makes my knees weak as a soft river of pure pleasure traverses my entire body.I can’t believe he remembers so well.
But why wouldn’t he?We know all of each other’s spots.We found them all together, through hours and hours of experimentation.At his house.In parks and on beaches.In the backs of buses.On cliffs and in forests.And in the abandoned warehouse where Rogue, Blade and the rest of them created their first clubhouse.The place where I lost him.
I don’t want to remember that place.Not now that I finally have him back and we can finally get on with our forever.But here it is, front and center in my brain, casting very dark shadows.
“Where did you go?”he asks, his eyes like melted chocolate as he gazes into mine.I went to the night I lost him.The night my father and brothers beat him up and left him for dead as they dragged me away to force me to marry another guy.The night I tried to save him, but ended up being abducted by Ghost instead.The night everything I loved was taken away.
I never want to go there again.
I smile and hug him tight.“I’m right here.”
I run my hands down his clean shaven scalp and the way he moans—almost purrs—into my neck as he kisses me again makes me think I might’ve found yet another special spot.I’ll check again later.For now I need him out of those clothes.
I slide his jacket down.He helps by pulling off his t-shirt.Followed by my jeans.Then his.And finally my bra and panties and his boxers.We’re both in a hurry now.Chasing what we had.Needing it back after all these years.
His chest is wide, his abs are chiseled.He’s fully a man now.None of the boy I fell in love with and left.Not on his body, not on his face and not in his eyes as he watches me watching him.
“You like what you see?”he asks, grinning at me.Just not with his eyes.
“I don’t like the scar,” I answer truthfully, maybe letting too much reality into this moment that’s supposed to be all fantasy and all about hopes and dreams coming true.
The scar splits his stomach down the middle and looks recent and too much like the kind they make during autopsy for my liking.
He takes a step closer, sliding his hands down my sides and around the back, cupping my ass to pull me closer.His rock-hard cock in pressing into my belly and I’m getting a little light-headed with the anticipation of feeling it inside me.
“It’s healed, so it’s fine,” he says.“And I got it doing a good deed.”
He kisses me again before I can speak.Probably for the best.I could always talk too much and ruin things.
His kiss, his touch, his closeness after all these years of thinking I’d lost him forever fill me with pure joy, sweet like the freshest nectar, cool like the first drops of a summer storm, fresh like the breeze blowing in from the ocean, burning like touching flame.He is the man I have always wanted, will always want.But this is too much.Too good.It’s all my dreams coming true and it hurts.
I pull away from the kiss, step out of his arms, just need a second for the pain to subside, for the pleasure to win, take away all the bad and leave only the good.Leave only what should always have been.
He cocks his head, looks at me sideways, his dark eyes glowing like only they and gold can.The desire he still has for me is what’s causing that glow, the desire I was sure I’d never see again.And that hurts too.Everything still hurts.
It’s all I can do not to burst into tears before he even asks, “What’s wrong?Too fast?”speaking in that whisper that never failed and still doesn’t in waking a river of sparks just under my skin.
I shrug, not trusting my voice to speak.I haven’t cried in years, definitely not since I’ve been in prison, but right now, I just might.
He steps closer and brushes a lock of hair off my face, the touch familiar and welcome, but so damn painful.Am I going insane?I’ve dreamed of this moment, of our reunion, for so long.And now that it’s here, I’m in pain?What the hell is wrong with me?
He smiles faintly and wraps his arm around my shoulders.
“We can take it as slow as you want,” he says.“Don’t worry.”
