Itwas the first time she had heard about my growing resentment toward mysiblings. She looked up to me, surprised, then I watched her concern take over.
“Ithought you got along with them.”
Igroaned, wishing I hadn't said anything at all. “Ido,” I pressed firmly.“I'm just sayin', they got their own lives to deal with. Jen's got the girls,she's got the house ... Zach has his business, and he and Grey are talkin’about kids. I can't expect either of them to take care of the old man when theygot all this other shit goin' on.”
“Butdo they not care about whatyouhave going on?”
“Andwhat is it that I have going on? It's not like I have all this important stuffhappening.”
Itwas the wrong thing to say. I saw that in the way she clamped her lips togetherand looked the other way. But that wasn't to say I hadn’t meant what I said.Sure, our relationship was important to me. I was enjoying myself and we werehaving fun. But when I held what we had next to the lives of my brother andsister, I couldn’t deny that we seemed to pale in comparison.
“They’restill his kids,” she finally said, keeping her voice low.
“Sure.”
“So,they should do their part.”
“Andis that your professional opinion?”
Sheturned back to me, her jaw taut and her glare hard. “It’s my opinion as yourgirlfriendafter watching you get more and more stressed over the past few weeks.”
“Ican’t make them do anything,” I replied, feeling myself slowly seeing her sideof things.
“Well,what if you went upstate and visited Zach? Stay with him for a weekend andrecharge. Have Jenna stay with your dad.”
God,that sounded nice, just to get away for a little while. But how could I leavehim? Even if he was making me angry and stressing me out. He was still Pops andhe was still dying.
“Idon’t know …”
“Youbeing here isn’t going to stop anything from happening,” she replied gently, asif she knew exactly what I was thinking.
“I’llthink about it,” I said brusquely, knowing my decision had already been made.
***
“I’mtakin’ off this weekend,” I announced to Moe. “Jen’s gonna be here.”
Helooked up from washing the dishes, his eyebrows lifting with intrigue. “You andyour lady friend going away?”
“Nah,she’s gotta work. I’m just gonna go upstate and chill with Zach and Grey. Igotta get away from Pops for a couple days.”
Moenodded, his eyes turning a solemn shade of brown. His sympathy was thick andevident and I turned away, not wanting to acknowledge the sadness I knew I’dsoon be forced to feel.
“It’sjust gonna be an overnight thing,” I went on, stacking pans and opening acabinet to put them away.
“Ithink it’s a good idea.”
“Yeah,Andy suggested it.”
Weworked quietly, side by side. He washed the dishes and I put them away, whilePops’s old radio played some Notorious B.I.G. in the background. The silencefelt uncomfortable at times and I realized how little I knew about him. We’dknown Moe for years, keeping him fed when he was homeless, then giving him ajob when we had the means. For all intents and purposes, we had turned his lifearound without any demand for compensation. Seeing him clean, healthy, andhappy was more than enough. But every now and then, I couldn’t help but wonder,who was he? Who had he been before we’d really gotten to know him?
“So.”
“So,”I repeated, keeping my eyes on the plates in my hand.
“I,uh, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Mybrow furrowed. “Sure, man, what’s up?”
