Openingmy eyes, I saw the trepidation in his eyes. “Okay,” I agreed gently, wonderingwhat had made him so instantly hard and fearful. “Well, then, let’s move ontoour backs and we’ll get some ab work done.”
Wemoved together cat cow to boat pose, but he sat out on bow and triangle. Ididn’t miss the tightness in his jaw or the discouragement in hiseyes, andasked if he was all right.
“Yeah,”he assured me. “I’m okay.” His face transformed with a smile, proving the pointfurther, but I still couldn’t help feeling sympathetic and a little guilty.
Wefinished the session with corpse pose and some breathing exercises, and when Irolled into a seated position, I felt more alive and awake than when we’dstarted. Chad, on the other hand, continued to lie on his back, staring up atthe ceiling with a serene look of happiness on his face.
“Howyoudoin’ over there, old man?” I teased, nudging hisleg with my toe.
“Good.Really, really good.” He turned his head to face me, his eyes meeting mine.“I’ve always wanted this, you know.”
“What?”I pulled my knees to my chest and cocked my head, thoroughly confused. I’d beenunder the impression that histhingfor me had been a recentdevelopment, but this confession made it seem … longer.
Rollingup to sit, he said, “You know. A routine in a relationship. Like, you sleeptogether, you wake up together, you do things in themornin’together. Thatkindathing. I’ve wanted that forever,and I startedwonderin’ if I’d ever have it.”
Themorning after a new relationship begins, the last thing you want to be thinkingabout is your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. But I couldn’t help it. I nearlydespised her for stringing him along, and in ways, I couldn’t stand the ideathat he’d allowed it for years.
Isighed and nodded. “I know.”
“So,I’m justthinkin’ aboutbein’on tour, and how I’mgonnahave this every singlefreakin’ day for the next two months. And that just makesme really happy.”
Mymouth flopped open as I feigned shock. “Chaddington Bear, are youinfiltratin’ my room?”
Theimmediate look of stern disapproval made me burst with a giggle. “What did youjust call me?”
Islowly got to my feet and whispered, “Chaddington Bear,” and I left my yoga matlying on the floor as I bolted to my room.
Stalkingafter me, he stood in the doorway as I jumped onto the bed and slippedunderneath the covers, hiding my grin and watching him with challenging eyes.He shook his head slowly and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Ireallyhate that name,” he nearlygrowled, narrowing his eyes and stepping toward the bed.
“It’skindacute, though,” I pointed out, as a flame stokedby anticipated excitement gained strength between my legs.
“Idon’t likecute.” He dropped to thebed and moved slowly toward me on hands and knees.
“Butyou don’t do anything about it.” I bit my lip as he brought his face withininches of mine. I could feel his breath, hot against my skin, and I shiveredwith urgent need.
“Ican’t do anything about them, even if I wanted to,” he admitted. It wastrue—Devin was damn near gargantuan, Sebastian was big in his own right, and Tywas built like a lumberjack. Chad was lean and strong, but not strong enough toteach them a lesson. “But you, on the other hand …”
Hismouth assaulted mine, and I submitted to the aggressive manipulations of histongue and teeth. He kissed me with desperation, as though the desire had beenbuilding for years, leading up to this very moment. I wondered if it had andwhether I’d ever, at any point in time, been the object of his fantasies. Maybeduring our teen years, when hormones were out of control and a brush against anarm was an instant aphrodisiac. Maybe even when he was with his ex-girlfriend,on those nights when I wasthereand she wasn’t.
God,why had we been so blind? Because suddenly,wefelt like the only thing that ever should have been, as he threw back thecovers to bite my neck and claw at our pants. As he pulled my body desperatelyagainst his and made love to me until I was sure the neighbors heard us and thescratches along his back were raw and bleeding. As we fell against the mattressand pillows and struggled to regain control of our lungs and hearts.
“Doyou always cry after sex?” he asked, wiping at my cheeks with his thumbs andlooking down at me with apology in his eyes.
Mylaughter mingled with the tears as I shook my head. “No.”
“ShouldI take that as a compliment?”
Inodded. “That’s the only way to take it,” I told him, as my lungs settled andcalmed. But my heart …
Itwas running wild, running away, and I couldn’t slow it down, even if I tried.
***
“Howlong have you liked me?” I asked him in the car.
Wewere heading to Mama’s, for my second birthday celebration of dinner and cake,with some people. Chad wouldn’t tell mewhichpeople, but I had mysuspicions.
