“Andno looking out the window!” Devin shouted at him.
“Youtake the fun out of everything, man, butfine,”Sebastian replied, before grinning lightheartedly. “Andactually, Ireallycame out here to let you ladies knowI’ve got coffee, bacon, pancakes, and hash browns ready in there. You mightwannaeat some while it’s hot.”
Myfrown was replaced with a smile. “Why couldn’t you just say that?”
Heshrugged. “Because leggings and sports bras. Obviously.”
Withlighthearted chuckles and smiles, we cut our yoga session short to crowd intothe bus and grab breakfast. Devin, Jon, and the kids wandered over to get somefood and we all headed outside to eat in the early morning sunshine. ExceptChad. I noted his absence as I ate beside the wooden safety rail, just asSebastian sidled up to me.
“Hey,”he muttered under his breath. “Iwannatalk to you.”
Mymouth froze around a bite of pancake. “About what?”
“Chaddington.”
Hadour rampant emotions been that obvious toeveryone?My chewing slowed and I stared intently toward the horizon, where sky met sea.It should have been a sight of serenity and a piece of natural beauty. Yet, allI felt instead of calm was a heart-racing panic. “Um … Well …”
“Weused to tease him a lot,” he went on, snapping a piece of crispy bacon betweenhis teeth. “Like, ‘yo, Chaddington, why the hell haveyou been with this chick for so long? Get your ass married or cut her loose.’You know, that type of shit. But, when we were over there for his birthday, wesuddenly understood. The problem isn’thim,is what I’m saying. That girl won’t marry him, and who the hell knows why. Imean, fuck, if I was a chick, I’d be all over his ass.” His friendly brown eyesmet mine. “And I mean that in the most homosexual way imaginable.Chaddington’shot as fuck and I know it, but I don’t swingthat way, so …” He shrugged nonchalantly.
“Shewants him when it suits her,” I muttered, surprised to find myself saying thewords out loud. An unrealized anger tainted my words and Sebastian smirked.
“That’swhat Ty said.”
“Well,I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees it.”
“Oh,sweetheart,everybodysees it. And honestly, I think it goes both waysbetween the two of them.And—” He looked over his shoulder, eyeing thebus door, as though afraid Chad would come out and hear us talking about Ali.“You know, whatever’s going on with him, he doesn’t need that shit. Heneedssomeone who’sgonnasupport him and care for himregardless of … you know. And she sure as shit doesn’t.”
Iturned to look up at him, studiously watching his face. “I didn’t realize youcared so much about his love life,” I admitted with a strained laugh.
Sebastianscoffed and grinned. “Girlfriend, I love the fuck out of him. I mean, I lovegetting on his case, too, but I care about him a lot, and he’s in a pretty badway right now. We know better than to call Ali, so we thought about talking tohis parents,‘causehe sure as shit won’t. The guy isstubborn as hell.”
“Nokidding,” I muttered, poking my hash browns around on the plate.
“But,then I started thinking …” He pursed his lips andnudged me in the shoulder with an elbow. “Ikindathink he’s got all he really needs right here.”
So,itwasthat obvious. “Well, I mean,I’mkindalike his sister, so …” I fought back acringe at the sound of the words passing through my lips, knowing it wascomplete and utter bullshit.
Sebastianwasn’t fooled either. “I haveneverlooked atanyof my sisters the waythat guy looks at you.” He flinched and shook his head fervently. “JesusChrist, I’d have to douse my eyeballs with bleach.”
“Well,you know what I mean,” I reasoned weakly.
“No,”he laughed, flabbergasted. “I really, really don’t. But fine, you’re in denialthat you want his dick, and he’s in denial that he wants your …” He waved ahand toward my body. “Well, you know. All I wanted to say is, you’re good forhim and I’m happy as all hell that you’re here.”
Ifound my smile beneath the depth of my discomfort. “Me too.”
Sebastiannodded and clapped a hand against my shoulder. “Good talk, Molly.”
Heturned to leave, when suddenly he said, “Oh! Have you heard of the hashtag,Chally?” I shook my head, and his face split with a slygrin. “Oh, well, you should look it up. I was rooting for hashtag-Mold to goviral, but,” he shrugged, “you win some, you lose some.”
***
Thebuses barreled toward our venue in Raleigh. I’d only seen Chad a handful oftimes since last night and our moment of weakness. Every time I caught aglimpse of him, he was running into the bathroom. And every single time, myworry grew until I couldn’t think about anything else.
Iasked how he was doing, but I was only met with his trademarkI’m fine,and by this point, I no longer believed him when he said that. I consideredcalling his parents and telling them he wasn’t doing well, but what were theygoing to do from over a thousand miles away? Plus, I had to trust that he wasat least in contact with them and letting them know how he was feeling. He wasthirty years old, for crying out loud.
Still,it didn’t stop me from worrying.
Itried to distract myself by perusing Instagram. I uploaded a picture to myaccount, from our trip to the waterfall. I smiled at the selfie, andyesterday’s Chad andmesmiled back. We were soaked aswe stood right in front of the pouring stream of water. His arm was around myshoulders, pulling me into his side, and my cheek pressed to his chest. Onethought struck me like a punch to the gut:Youlook like you’re together. And God, did it ever. We sure made an attractivecouple, fit and happy.
