“Ali,I know. I justgottago, okay? I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
Tearspricked at my eyes. “I really don’t feel well, okay? I’ll—”
“Ofcourse, you don’t.” The sweetness in her tone was overtaken by the coldness Iknew all too well. “You never feel well.”
“I’llcall you tomorrow,” I hurried, and hung up as I prayed the pain would passbefore my flight in the morning.
***
It didn’t, and the embarrassment of taking up residence inthe plane’s singular bathroom felt crushing. I felt the need to both hide and apologizeevery time I sulked back to my seat, dropping down next to Molly.
“Howyadoin’?” she asked gently for the fiftieth time sincewe took to the sky.
“Oh, just wonderful.”
I kept counting the hours inmy head until we’d be back on the ground. In just a couple hours, we had onethree-hour layover in Orlando, but I could handle that. A slew of publicrestrooms at my disposal was way better than bogarting the one. Not to mention,being closer to emergency personnel gave me a sense of security. Just in case.
I’msofreakin’ tired. I laid a hand over my eyes and tried totalk myself away from the pain. Away from the aches in my joints and thepiercing in my skull. Mind over body and all that. If I could just get somerest, maybe I’d feel a little better. Once we were in Florida, maybe we couldeven squeeze in a nap before heading to Connecticut.
Molly laid a hand over my arm.“Chad.”
I spread my fingers to peekout at her. “What?”
“I’mgonnabe with you a lot over the next few months, and I want you to get into thehabit oftellin’ me the truth.”
Thetruth. Alihad told me the truth last night, and I’d reciprocated. To be honest, it’d feltliberating. More so than I thought it would, so I considered that maybe thetruth about some other stuff could also feel the same way. Maybe I couldbenefit from letting my walls crumble a little, instead of constantly forcingmyself to remain a pillar of strength when what I really needed was someone tobe one for me. Just for once.
I dropped my hand from my eyesand let my head roll against the headrest to look her squarely in the eye. “I’mso fuckin’ tired, Molly,” I whispered, keeping my secrets between just the twoof us. “And this hurts so fuckin’ badly, I honestly don’t know how I can standit half the time.”
I witnessed her heart breakingfor me as her eyes searched mine. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know,” I replied witha somber shrug.
“Youneed to see a doctor,” she whispered. “You can’t just Google everything. Youneed tosee someone.”
“Andwhat if they find out something worse isgoin’ on?” Iasked, realizing how dangerous it was to be honest as my voice broke, revealingthe depth of my fear. “What if I have cancer orsomethin’?”
Hereyes grew misty at the word and she grabbed my hand, lacing her fingers betweenmine and holding on tight. “Then, we’ll deal with it. But we can’t deal withanythingif you don’t get a diagnosis.So,please, promise me you’ll go to adamn doctor.”
Herrequested confirmed that my worries were justified, and whatever truth a doctorcould give scared the hell out of me. But with a definitive diagnosis, therewas also the possibility of healing, or at least finding relief, and with that,my worries seemed to lessen just a bit. They lessened even more as I realizedMolly wouldn’t allow me to face it alone.
“Okay.I promise.” I nodded, then added, “After the tour, I’ll make an appointment.”
Icould tell she wasn’t happy with that answer, but she settled for it withreluctance. “Fine. But I’mgonnabenaggin’ your ass until you do.”
“Iwouldn’t expect anything less.”
Sheleaned toward the window, offering her shoulder. “Now, put your head down andtry to sleep a little.”
Idid as I was told, finding a comfortable spot against her, and I pulled thebill of my ballcap down to shield my eyes from the light. Lastly, I crossed myarms and sighed contentedly.
Mollychuckled lightly. “Comfy?”
“You’rebony as fuck,” I muttered teasingly.
“Wouldyou rather I was still fat?”
